Devour me, darkness
by Funeral Lilies
Summary: SnapeDraco, slash. Christmas is only a few weeks away and Draco Malfoy should be happy. But how could he, when his own father can't wait to ravish him and it seems he just can't get close to the man he secretly admires...professor Snape.
1. Looks

DEVOUR ME, DARKNESS 

**Fandom: Harry Potter**

**Pairing: Severus Snape/Draco Malfoy (DM/BZ, DM/OC, LM/DM)**

**Rating: R**

**Set: Around X-mas time, 6th year**

**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns it all, I don't.**

**Author's note: This is the (badly) translated version of my Swedish fic _Bara en pojke _(that title translated into English is "Just a boy", but I thought that sounded terribly boring and came up with another one instead)**

**A/N 2: This is slash fiction, male/male pairings that is, and it contains age-gap relationships, hints of incest, dangerous potions, mad women, lots of clichés and of course a sex scene set in a medieval torture chamber. R & R!**

Prologue 

Midnight. It felt as if all the creatures of the Night were sneaking around his bed, touching the curtains with pale fingertips, their breath a treacherous smoke. Snoring sounds could be heard from every corner of the dorm, but Draco was quite used to it and didn't care. His head was filled with other, more serious troubles. Less than a month of the autumn term remained, and then Christmas would arrive in sparkling color. He bit his lip. Christmas over at Malfoy Manor had never been a merry affair. The hateful looks his parents shot at each other whenever they had the opportunity… the gifts, being nothing more than sarcastic gibes from his mother to his father or the other way round… their gifts to him, just another way for them to compete for his love. But Draco didn't love either his mom or his dad. He couldn't. Narcissa, his mother, showered him with tender words but was a bad actress – motherhood had never suited her. Draco knew she didn't care about him. As a child, he had looked into her strained face many times, wanting to see her smile – longing for her eyes to sparkle because of him – but Narcissa had turned away from him.

Lucius was completely different. He loved Draco. But no matter how often his father sought his eyes would Draco act like his mother, turning away. There was something there. Something terrible…something that scared him. It was as if the faintest stench of tainted fruit began to ooze out of the walls every time their eyes met. And Lucius' mere presence could make Draco turn pale, as if the blood had been sucked out of his body. No, he didn't want to go back there for Christmas. He refused to admit it to himself, but it was a fact that he was terrified. Scared to death. If only he could stay at Hogwarts… Lucius would, obviously, do everything in his power to prevent it. But for once… Just this once, would Lucius Malfoy _not _have things the way he wanted them.

Chapter I: Looks 

"Draco, you haven't forgotten what you promised me, have you? Hogsmeade next week, you remember that, right?"

Pansy Parkinson disappeared from the dark dungeon, off to the next class with the other Slytherin girls. He didn't even glance at her. She had clung on to him ever since they were first-years, and now when they'd belonged to the same house for five years, you might think she'd had enough. But no, not Pansy. On the contrary did her attempts to make him fall in love with her intensify from one day to another, and Draco had indeed given her what she wanted sometimes just to shut her up. It had never worked. Crabbe & Goyle used to cast envious looks at Draco, whenever he came back to them after having practiced some sort of sexual intercourse with miss Parkinson, but he himself felt sick just to think of it. Draco had – and had always had – sexual preferences very different from whining schoolgirls.

"The lesson's over, Malfoy." He looked up, meeting Snape's penetrating gaze. The Potions Master stood by his desk, turned against him. Draco stroked back a strand of hair, realizing with frightful excitement that they were all alone in the dungeon.

"I know, Professor Snape."

"Then why are you still here? I hardly need to remind you we both have other classes to attend very soon."

Draco got to his feet and took his bag. Snape, who seemed to think Draco was on his way out, turned to the desk again and began to study a bunch of parchments. He started as he heard Draco's voice right beside him.

"Sir…I was just wondering…" Snape's eyes were so inscrutable Draco's voice got stuck in his throat. He didn't know what he wished to say, knew only that it had something to do with the Christmas break. Giving it more thought, he felt relieved he'd said nothing about it. No one but small kids complained to their teachers about such things. He shrugged his shoulders, blushing a little.

"Nah, forget it, Professor. It was nothing, really." Snape looked as if he was about to say something, but Draco was out of the dungeon before he had opened his mouth. As soon as he'd escaped the teacher's black eyes did Draco's facial muscles stiffen, and he muttered a number of swearwords to himself. What an idiot he was! Snape would surely believe it had all been nothing but a stupid joke – but it was a serious mess. And Draco had more than one reason to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas.

"I can't go on like this" he thought as he saw Crabbe & Goyle stop to wait for him in the end of the corridor. "I have to tell him I love him before Christmas."


	2. Paternal love

Chapter II: Paternal love 

It arrived a few days later. The letter. It was as if his whole body had been expecting it for weeks – he was immediately filled with anxiety as it flew into his hands at breakfast. The handwriting on the envelope was strict and elegant; very anonymous. Draco's fingers trembled. Everything around him was as usual, Crabbe & Goyle seemed to compete about who could swallow the largest number of eggs at the same time, and those who didn't have their mouths full of sausage or porridge were talking either about homework or Quidditch. None of the others had to care the least about what Christmas was going to be like…After having controlled a few times that no one saw what he did, Draco broke the seal and opened the letter. Its contents made him feel as if he was going to faint.

"Draco!

Your mother has gone to Italy for indefinite time. She will not be home for Christmas. I hope that you understand that she will not change her mind about this. It will be only you and me. Perhaps it's for the best.

Your father."

Draco rose from the table so violently that everyone around it gave him accusing looks.

"What's the matter, Draco?", Pansy asked in a confidential voice. He didn't answer. Without thinking about how it looked, he hurried out of the hall with the letter clutched in one hand. Away, away from here… Even life among Muggles would be preferable instead of this. _It will be only you and me… _How could his mother leave him alone with that madman? Was she only thinking about herself? Of course she did. She always…

Draco was so worked up he didn't notice what was happening until it was too late. Thoughtless of where he was going, he rushed into Snape, who was on his way to the Great Hall.

"I'm sorry, Professor, I didn't see…" Snape brushed invisible dust off his clothes and gave Draco a very irritated look.

"I happened to notice that, Malfoy. I believe you dropped this." He took the letter from the floor and gave it to Draco. After that, he hurried off, before Draco had the chance to say anything at all. He gave the envelope with the elegant handwriting one last, hateful look. Then he squeezed it in his hand, hard, until it was nothing but a tiny ball of parchment. It didn't matter. Every single word of it had already stuck in his head.


	3. Hogsmeade

Chapter III: Hogsmeade 

She clung on to his arm like a hungry animal. Giggled. Kissed him on the cheek.

"We must be the school's most good-looking couple, Draco. Slytherins…Prefects…" She laughed in a shrill voice and met his gray eyes with a look she probably meant to be sexy.

"Everybody's jealous at us, surely…" Draco pushed her away. They were standing outside the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, both of them dressed in warm cloaks with the green Slytherin serpent on their chests. Apparently, Pansy wanted to show the whole world how in love she and Draco were, and she had dragged him around to every corner of the village, talking loudly about their engagement plans. At first, Draco had tried to correct her on this matter, but now he simply let her talk. Perhaps it would be wise to stick to Pansy, forget Snape and just go with it? After a week of lost chances and terrible attempts, this seemed more and more like a decent alternative. Snape was, after all, almost as old as his father… and Draco just a sixteen-year–old boy. To make matters worse, Snape's silent, mystical surface was about as easy to penetrate as a brick wall. Draco sighed. He had admired the black-clad teacher ever since his first Potions class, and was Hogwarts' best student in the subject for the time being. In spite of this, Snape had never given him a word of praise, just a short nod occasionally. Draco had always wondered why.

"Look, Granger's over there staring at us", Pansy whispered in his ear. "I'm sure she's jealous!" She burst out into her nasty, shrill laughter again, kissing him so madly he felt as if she was trying to suffocate him.

"Stop it, Pansy", he said, tearing himself away from her. "I'll go back alone." Her smile died away. She put her hands on her hips, angrily, and focused on him with wild eyes.

"What's wrong with you, Draco? How can you leave your girlfriend? We're a couple, for fuck's sake!" He laughed shortly.

"Says who? I don't even like you, Pansy. I never did." He started to walk away from her.

"I hate you!" Pansy cried after him. "There's something wrong with you, do you hear me?"

Draco smiled to himself.

"_Wrong_…Yeah, I guess you could say that." He smiled again, happy for the first time in many days.


	4. The potion

Chapter IV: The potion 

A few days later, sitting in the dungeon stirring a bubbling potion that would strengthen the senses of whoever drank it, Draco wasn't that happy. Crabbe sat next to him, useless as always, and from a table nearby came Pansy Parkinson's hateful looks. Snape had just started to judge their work. Nobody seemed to have succeeded; only a handful had passed the test, the rest hadn't even improved the eyesight of their guinea pig. Potter and Weasley had of course managed to cause a laughable mess; Snape had quickly failed them before stopping Ron's ears from growing larger than his head. Draco watched Snape continue down the room, and the contents of his and Crabbe's cauldron didn't interest him the slightest. To prepare potions had never been a problem for Draco Malfoy…

"Malfoy…and Crabbe." Snape focused on both of them. "Well, who will drink…that?"

Draco followed his eyes down into the cauldron and gasped. The correct potion would be violet. This one was a muddy yellow.

"Alright, Crabbe, you'll do it", he said, ignoring Crabbe's protests. From every corner of the dungeon came whispers and giggles, and Draco saw, blushing, how Potter, Weasley and Granger laughed at him. Crabbe made an ugly face as he saw how sticky the yellow mess was, but he still swallowed a large spoonful of it.

At first, nothing happened. Then, suddenly, a lot of things happened at once. Crabbes hands shrunk hastily and his entire body got smaller and weaker. He stared at Draco, who guessed he might have made some kind of shrinking potion. But it was worse than that.

"Do something!" Crabbe hissed. His voice was the voice of a scared little girl. Draco saw two lumps grow out on his friend's chest and didn't know if he should laugh or cry. But of course, he chose the first alternative. Crabbe cried louder and louder, while the entire class roared with laughter. Snape, on the other hand, gave Draco a strange look and then fetched an antidote which he gave Crabbe. It worked immediately, and the laughter died away.

"Class dismissed", Snape said loudly, and people prepared to leave. "But", Snape continued, turning to Draco, "Malfoy, you stay behind."

As soon as they were alone, Snape sat down by his desk, observing Draco for a long while. Draco himself was standing by the door, ready to leave. He was ashamed for having made such a serious mistake with the potion and simply wanted to forget about it. Sure, he had prepared something that was very advanced…but it didn't have anything to do with the task, and he hadn't even been aware he was making it.

"I'm surprised, Malfoy", Snape said suddenly. Draco nodded, blushing.

"Sorry, Professor. Not my lucky day today." Snape smiled that mystical smile of his.

"In deed…Then I hope, for your sake, that it's an isolated case." He waved his hand impatiently, and Draco understood he had said what he had meant to.

"I guess I'm leaving, then…" Draco muttered, leaving the dungeon. Snape didn't even look up from his work.


	5. Fever

2

A/N: When it comes to the Fahrenheit thing, I'm only guessing… We don't have that in Sweden, you know.   
Chapter V: Fever 

One week left before Christmas break. The snow whirled about outside the windows, and inside the walls of Hogwarts one particular rumor buzzed higher than all others – the one saying Draco Malfoy, the unbearable Slytherin Prefect, was a miserable lover. Draco knew, of course, who had spread it and why, but at the moment he didn't care much about it. He had, after having caught a very high fever, been brought to the Hospital Wing. There, he was all alone – no one else was stupid enough to get ill just before the break.

"I can't understand it" Madame Pomfrey said continually, putting a cold hand on his forehead. "The fever should be almost gone by now…" What she didn't know was, that this wasn't a usual fever. In a last, desperate attempt to stay at school during Christmas, Draco had prepared a potion that gave a very serious fever – and drank all of it. Now, lying in one of the sterile hospital beds pretending to hallucinate, he regretted he had drank so much of it. It was surely enough potion to give five people a temperature over 100 degrees Fahrenheit, and it might be dangerous as well. A horribly realistic vision, his father's pale fingers against his skin and the gleaming eyes near his face, made him forget all such apprehensions.

In the evening, just as Draco was about to fall asleep, Madame Pomfrey came to his bed and patted his shoulder.

"Wake up, Mr Malfoy", she whispered. "Professor Snape has come to see you." Draco was instantly wide awake. He turned his head and saw the Potions teacher, barely visible in the darkness behind Pomfrey.

"You can leave us now, Madame Pomfrey", Snape said, stepping out of the shadows. Madame Pomfrey nodded, withdrawing hastily. Snape looked at Draco, slightly disapprovingly. Draco, who wished for him and Snape to be alone somewhere else, some other time, tried to look as normal as possible.

"You can quit pretending, Malfoy", Snape said shortly. "You can't fool me." Draco stared at him.

"But…Professor Snape, I'm really ill! Feel my forehead and you'll see." Snape looked even more disapproving, but went to the side of Draco's bed, leaning over. He put, after a moment's hesitation, his fingers on the blonde boy's forehead, shuddering as he realized how high the fever must be. Draco sat up in the bed. He didn't even think, hadn't thought of it until then, but in the moment Snape withdrew his fingers, Draco put his hands on his teacher's shoulders and kissed him lightly on the mouth. It was so easy. He had never thought he would even dare think about it, and now it was done… Snape backed away, and for once seemed to have lost control over his eyes completely. His look at Draco expressed not one feeling, but hundreds of them, and his hands shivered. Draco was suddenly afraid that he, through his spontaneity, had lost every future chance he might get. If Snape hadn't understood that kiss in the way Draco had, which obviously was rather likely, anything could happen.

"I…" Draco began, but the fever got hold of him, and he forgot what he wanted to say.

Snape walked towards the door and Draco had to concentrate to see his contours in the dark. The door opened with a small creaking noise.

"You need to get some sleep, Malfoy", Snape said in his ordinary, classroom voice. He went, and the door shut with a muffled bang. Draco lay awake, watching the faint light from the windows. God, he had done it. A smile played on his lips, and he remembered the teacher's last words. Had Snape's voice not trembled just a little?


	6. Sweets

2

**A/N: Thank you Clear Black Glass for reviewing, I had almost decided not to continue translating this… You're definitely right; Lucius is _very _obsessed with Draco, since I'm the author and I'm a bit twisted ;) **

**A/N 2: I SO love to write about those two, they're such wonderful characters... Btw, sorry the chapters are so short (are they or am I imagining this?), but there are lots of them ;P**

**_Chapter VI: Sweets_**

Twenty-four hours had passed and Draco was still lying in the Hospital Wing, alone with his own unpleasant, feverish dreams. Pomfrey had been around all day, expressing her worries for him, putting a thermometer in his mouth every half hour and then worried some more as she realized that the temperature hadn't gone down at all. "What did you expect, I caused it myself", Draco was about to exclaim more than once since she annoyed him so much. He was tired of being unable to move, without even managing to think clearly. Crabbe and Goyle had paid him a visit earlier in the day, bringing him a huge bag of candy – but before Draco had had time to even open it, Pomfrey hurried out of her office and threw Crabbe, Goyle and all the delicious Chocolate Frogs out of the Hospital Wing.

"Never take any risks when you're ill, Mr Malfoy", she said with an authoritative voice, ordering him to lie still. Oh, how he loathed her by now! He had been given nothing but soup and water for days now, did she honestly believe some harmless candy would kill him?

At least, for the time being he didn't have to stand the nurse. The clock on the wall showed that it was almost midnight, she was probably sleeping now, wherever her bed happened to be (Draco couldn't have been less interested). God…! He wondered if he was as good as dead by now. Perhaps the potion was just for those who wanted a fever that would last for an hour, not for days… Perhaps he was already beyond the point where he could be rescued from death? He swallowed. Draco had always imagined his own demise in a most heroic, magnificent way. And _this_ had absolutely nothing to do with magnificence.

The unexpected sound of the creaking door threw him back into reality, and he stared into the darkness in an attempt to discover who had stolen into the room. Pomfrey, it had to be her. Back to haunt him with her thermometers and all those bad-tasting remedies that just made him feel worse, since his fever wasn't a usual one…

But – Draco forgot to breathe for a few moments as he realized – it wasn't Madame Pomfrey. It was Snape.

"Professor…!" Snape went towards the bed and looked at him in a very displeased way. Draco saw that he was holding a small cup behind his back.

"Shut up, Malfoy. I know exactly what potion made you fool Madame Pomfrey, and I have the antidote here." He handed Draco the cup. It was brimful of a thin, colorless liquid.

"Drink it", Snape hissed impatiently, with an irritated gesture. "I think you're clever enough to realize I've got better things to do than to stand here – besides, I'm here without the nurse's permission." Draco looked at him with a glimpse of interest in his eyes.

"But why…" He stopped quickly, since there was something in Snape's face that clearly told him he should. He lowered his gaze to the cup again. If he drank the potion, the whole fever thing would have been in vain. He would still have to go back home to the manor by the weekend and spend some terrible weeks alone with his _dear _father.

"Professor Snape", he said so quickly the words stumbled over each other, "could you write a certificate saying I have to remain at Hogwarts during the break?" Snape looked at him as if he had just witnessed something very obscene, but said:

"Whatever the reason might be, Malfoy…Your father happens to have a lot of influence on this school. A certificate signed by a teacher, do you really think that would make a difference?" Draco sighed. He knew Snape was right.

"Maybe Dumbledore could…!" Draco exclaimed enthusiastically as the possibility struck him. He looked pleadingly at Snape, who turned his eyes away.

"The Headmaster is a busy man, Malfoy", he said at last. "Do you really find it appropriate to take up his time with such a trivial matter? In these dark times, too." Draco nodded eagerly. He didn't care if Dumbledore was working day and night and hadn't slept for a whole week – he was thinking about himself now.

"As you wish", Snape said, the tone in his voice suggesting he thought Draco was an egocentric idiot. "I will talk to the Headmaster. But not until you have drunk the antidote and stopped simulating delirium." Draco heard the sharpness in the teacher's voice and emptied the cup in one gulp. The antidote tasted disgusting – but what potion didn't? He could feel it was working, felt the fever fade away almost instantly.

"It works" he said happily. Snape snorted, and took the cup from Draco with cold fingers.

"Of course it works", he muttered. Draco smiled to himself, glad he wasn't ill anymore.

"Thanks", he said loudly. But Snape had already disappeared.


	7. Breakfast

**A/N: Of course, thanks to all reviewers! Now this chapter was kinda tricky to translate, but they all are, really… I've realized translating something into your native language is much easier than the other way around, but I hope this is at least understandable ;) **

_**Chapter VII: Breakfast**_

The Great Hall was filled with First-year titter, the tiny girls and boys causing it accompanied by pathetic Seven-years snickering and the unmistakable sound of the Gryffindor table shaking as everybody sitting by it was trying so hard to suppress their laughter. Draco was very much aware he himself was the laughing-stock, and secretly wished he had been stupid enough to jinx everyone who dared to laugh at him. He was entering the Hall, making his way towards the Slytherin table with Crabbe & Goyle like two enormous pieces of meat walking beside him. They exchanged worried looks over Draco's head as they realized people were giggling and whispering, but Draco didn't let anyone know he felt uncomfortable, as he sat down by the middle of the table just as usual. Pansy, who was a couple of seats away, gave him a contemptuous look and then smiled in quite a nasty way (Draco thought) at some of her friends. Draco shrugged his shoulders and picked out the two largest slices of bread from the tray in front of him and put them on his plate. In fact, he wasn't very hungry, but he would not for one second let Pansy think she had won over him. "Don't ever let them inside your mind", he thought, acting just like a true Malfoy and knowing it, too. Crabbe & Goyle sat down on each side of him, starting to fill their plates with food. It seemed as if they weren't at all sure about how to talk to him – their nervous glances said it all. Draco smiled to himself.

"Crabbe" he said, pretending to sound nice, "Goyle. About that bag of candy you gave me yesterday… Of course, I don't mean to be greedy, but…" Their childish faces, so easy to read, expressed dismay.

"Er, Draco…" Goyle began, clumsily, "we didn't think you were allowed to eat it, she said you weren't…"

"We thought you'd be ill much longer", Crabbe tried to help. Draco assumed a hurt expression and refused to look at them.

"I see", he said, "well, of course you did." Without one more word, he started to eat his sandwiches. By pretending to study the very interesting tapestry behind the Teachers' table, he tried to meet Snape's gaze, but the Potions master was turned towards Dumbledore and talked to him in a low voice. And as the Headmaster nodded understandingly and looked straight into Draco's eyes with a reassuring smile, he realized Snape had kept his promise. For some reason, this surprised him. Sure, Snape was a teacher and teachers just didn't break promises, but still, he was… Snape. Draco blushed. He remembered the rough lips that for a short moment had met his own, the feeling when his fingertips had touched Snape's shoulders softly, the slight shiver in the teacher's voice afterwards. And he loved it.

"Hey, Malfoy!" A bony finger poked at his arm, and he looked into the oblong face of a Third-year. The boy was an absolutely insufferable git called Eric Bixley, and he was now sitting opposite Draco with a satisfied smirk on his face, ready to impress his classmates.

"What's the matter, Bixley? Have you sunk so low you have to beg from wealthy people while they're having breakfast?" Some people laughed. Nothing was easier, in Draco's view, than to insult people whose parents were always short of money.

"Shut up, Malfoy." Bixley's red cheeks ruined his attempt to sound threatening, but he still carried on:

"Seems like you have a weakness after all. We've been hearing quite a lot lately…" The entire table roared with laughter, again aimed at Draco. He managed to brace himself from starting a fight, and gave Bixley a look he normally used only on people he desperately wanted to sleep with.

"Really?" he smiled. "Perhaps you'd like to come with me to an empty room somewhere and see for yourself if the rumour is true?" A murmur went through the room, and Bixley shifted in his seat.

"Bloody faggot", he muttered, and then looked down at his plate, his body language speaking for itself so clearly Draco could have laughed out loud with malicious delight. How could everybody be so shockingly _obvious_?

Except for one person, of course. Snape still refused to look at him. Draco sighed impatiently, as he pressed the sandwiches into his mouth in a way that made several people stare disbelievingly at him. How interested in that fucking tapestry would he have to pretend he was, just to make Snape notice him? Just one glance would be enough! He felt stupid for being unable to stop trying, for being unable to at least hide his intentions. But Snape was there, in front of his eyes, and Draco wanted him. He wanted to kiss away the roughness in those lips – no, he wanted it to be there, he loved it – and tear his own lips bloody against it. He wanted to make a smile appear in Snape's face, wanted to make him happy. Wanted to hear that dark, sharp voice whisper his name in a soft way that showed he worshipped every syllable of it – Draco.

But Snape kept avoiding him during the whole amount of time it took Draco to finish eating, and even managed to disappear from the Great Hall without Draco noticing it. When Crabbe & Goyle carefully told him about their next class – Transfiguration, just to remind Draco that things could always get worse, surely – he got to his feet with the face of a suffering martyr. Nothing went like he had planned.


	8. Pain

A/N: I thought I'd better hurry up writing this one since one of the reviewers pointed out that part 7 was sort of confusing… I know exactly what you mean, when I began reading the original Swedish chapter I myself had to go back to chapter 5 or something to find the reason people were laughing, whispering etc. Lazy and absent-minded as I am, I forgot to mention the "bad-lover-rumour" in my last A/N though, sorry.

**Just to remind everyone: Draco broke up (or whatever you'd call it) with Pansy in chapter 3. This, of course, didn't please her at all, which was why she spread a nasty little rumour saying Draco was like the worst lover she had ever had. Draco didn't care much about this at first, since he was preoccupied with being delirious and kissing Snape in the Hospital Wing. Even though he's now back with his friends again, he still doesn't care that much because a) he's madly in love with a certain black-clad teacher and b) he's not looking forward to X-mas break at all, since he might have to be alone with his father at the Manor, and Lucius clearly has a _very _soft spot for his only son.**

Chapter VIII: Pain 

The rustle of parchment in his pocket was completely inaudible in the buzzing Hall. Draco thought that was just fine. All over the castle, Christmas trees were decorated and carols were sung, but Draco hadn't even tasted any Christmas candy. He was bored. It had been two days since all his friends had gone home with the Hogwarts Express to spend the holiday with their families, and he was left behind like an outcast. His eyes went from Flitwick, balancing on an extremely high chair to be able to decorate one of the trees, to a rosy-cheeked McGonagall who had just escaped the cold outside. None of them was at all interesting. In the middle of the Hall, Potter, Weasley and Granger were decorating a tree of their own. Draco felt a little miserable watching them. Potter's friends had stayed at Hogwarts for him, because they didn't want him to be alone at Christmas. And they seemed to have so much fun, too… He pinched his own arm, to remind himself that he hated those three more than anything and that he didn't need other people, didn't need anyone. But after spending two long days alone, Draco was getting desperate.

He left the Great Hall as fast as he could. Suddenly, something ached inside him… His hand slipped down into his pocket, found the letter. He unfolded the envelope.

"Draco!

What is the meaning of this? I am very disappointed and sincerely hope that you stop this childish game immediately. It is not appropriate for a Malfoy to act like this, as I'm sure you're well aware of. I expect you to return here soon with a good excuse for your intolerable behaviour.

Your Father."

It was four days old. He had tried to throw it away a couple of times, even to burn it, but he hadn't been able to. Every time, he felt as if he was being watched, as if his father watched him. Draco stared at the letter as if it was about to change colour or disappear. He didn't feel the chilly wind sweeping over him as the entrance door opened, didn't hear the laughter or the singing. The expression "filial gratitude" popped up in his mind – and with one hand over his mouth, Draco rushed to his Common Room. _Don't be afraid, Draco, it won't hurt – _but it hurt so terribly much…

He sat huddled up in a corner of the Common Room. In the paintings that covered the walls, people were walking in and out, discussing his state of mind – some even tried to talk to him, but got nothing but angry glances in reply. Draco Malfoy was miserable. Lonely. Abandoned. All he got was dead people nagging on him from every fucking frame in the whole room, and to make matters worse, the Bloody Baron came flying through the room every now and then with various mad expressions on his transparent face.

"Why isn't there _anyone_ here who understands me?", he muttered childishly. Then he realized – of course. Apart from himself, Snape was the only one who refused to take part in all the stupid Christmas preparations. And Snape was the one person in the world who made Draco's heart beat so loudly it was almost embarrassing. What if he might get a second chance…?

"Of course you can", he told himself and left the Common Room feeling better than he had for a very long time. Surely, he realized with a smile, it wouldn't seem strange if he visited Snape. Draco was, after all, the only slytherin left at the school – apart from Snape, that was (and the Bloody Baron, who Draco didn't really want to think about at all). Snape wouldn't find it suspicious, Draco hoped. The Potions teacher hadn't met his gaze ever since the evening when he had given him the antidote, and it was both frustrating and alarming.

He stopped in front of the door to Snape's office and took a deep breath. Didn't know what he would say when – if – the door opened. "Hell, I'll just do it", he thought in a fit of irresponsibility, and knocked three times.

The door opened almost immediately.

**A/N: Ah, yes. Sorry about the cliff-hanger… Next chapter is interesting since it is the only chapter I have ever been forced to censor, if I didn't want the whole fic to be removed. Which I didn't, of course. Gah, I hate censorship! Anyway, when I put it here, it will be the original version, but don't get any ideas because it's not that dirty, honestly… ;)**


	9. In the office

**A/N: I guess I'll have to warn you. If you can't stand the idea of Snape and Draco having sex, then…just don't read. **

_**Chapter IX: In the office**_

Snape looked at him as if he had been a ghost.

"Malfoy?" Draco tried to smile as self-confidently as usual, but managed only a nervous grin.

"Can I come in, Professor?" he asked. Snape nodded shortly, and closed the door as soon as Draco had entered the room. It was dark and cold in there – the only light came from a chandelier that was standing on the desk. The walls were of a dark red colour, and in the flickering candlelight it looked as if they had been painted with blood. Draco, who had always loved the macabre, smiled at the thought.

He went towards the middle of the room, looked around with interested eyes. The desk was a large piece of furniture made of almost black wood, and on it was many rolls of parchment and black quills. The paintings on the walls were all dramatic views of thunderstorms or skies heavy with rain or snow, and in a large cupboard, the shelves inside visible through panes of glass, were hundreds of small bottles and goblets with various contents. There was a decadent feeling of 19th century _mystique_ about this room, that made his eyes gleam.

He coughed as he realized Snape was watching him. He knew, rather than saw, that the teacher was standing a few steps behind him – but he didn't want to turn around and meet his eyes.

"Um, Professor…" he began, hesitantly. A strange atmosphere had emerged – it made him forget every word he had ever known. And suddenly, Draco felt Snape's hand grab hold of his arm and the teacher's body so very close to his own…

"Why, Malfoy?", Snape hissed in his ear. Draco gasped.

"What do you mean, Professor Snape?" He turned his head so that they looked at each other.

"You know what I mean", Snape said in a low voice. Draco felt the grip around his arm soften, and the fingers glide down to his thin wrist and stay there. He felt almost dizzy with excitement.

"I'm so very spontaneous, Professor", he said, his gray eyes sparkling. "I think that's my…only weakness…" He turned his head so much it hurt, and kissed Snape with his lips parted. The grip around his wrist loosened, and he shifted his whole body until they were standing chest to chest and he could take Snape's face in his hands. The kissing intensified. When he felt the teacher's hands on his hips, pulling him closer, it felt as if he had been six years and not sixteen. The pleasure filled his body, roared inside him.

They ended the kiss and looked at each other. For once, Draco knew exactly what Snape was feeling – confusion. He himself did the same. "_A teacher_", he thought. "_This is totally_ _crazy_…"

"My god, you're not even seventeen", Snape mumbled, and the look on his face told Draco he was just remembering all the punishments he might have to endure if what had just happened ever reached the ears of the Ministry. Draco smiled his most seductive smile and ripped his own, striped tie off. Then, he threw it on the floor with a defiant gesture. Snape stared at him as if he had just woken up from a coma and these were the very first signs of life. With swaying hips, Draco walked towards one of the red walls. He began unbuttoning his shirt – slowly, enticingly. "_What a slut I am_!" he thought. He had to smile as he thought about how he, who had been crying like a baby in the Common Room just a while ago, was now seducing Snape.

"Malfoy, this is… not good", Snape said, but it took only a moment before he was kissing Draco's naked chest as if he had desired to do so for many, many years. It felt so wonderful Draco had to stop himself from moaning. But when he, almost unconsciously, tried to press Snape's head down, the teacher got to his feet quickly and looked into his eyes with the usual inscrutability.

"I don't know if you've noticed, Malfoy, but I am not one of those silly Third year girls you're used to…" Draco smiled apologetically, and kissed him while he managed to undress him of the black robes and his shirt. Then, he slid his tongue slowly across Snape's collarbone and chest, as he unbuttoned his trousers. Snape took hold of the boy's head with one hand, as Draco began to suck him. He had never done it before, but actually thought it went quite well. "_Another talent I didn't know about_" he thought and played with the tip of his tongue in such a magnificent way that Snape moaned and pressed his fingers into Draco's hair. Draco smiled, while finishing what he was doing. Snape buttoned his trousers again with a hand that was almost trembling.

"I want to have a gift…", Draco begged in a low voice as he was back in Snape's arms. Snape smiled his usual, grim smile and pulled him closer.

"Spoilt as always…" Draco laid his head against the teacher's shoulder, and Snape whispered in his ear:

"Wait for Christmas Day." Draco stretched his arms out in a quite desperate gesture.

"Professor, do whatever you like with me, anything…_now_!" Snape laughed softly and stroked his hair.

"Don't tempt me…_Draco._ You might regret it." He picked up his shirt from the floor and put it on again. Draco leant against the wall, exhausted and shivering, watching Snape closely.

"I love you", he said in a serious voice. Snape stared at him, and for a short moment, everything was silent.

Then, it knocked on the door.

**A/N: Yeah, I know, another cliffy, sorry…This is a bit of a cliff-hanger story, really. Oh, and I should mention that it is a Masochistic Draco story too… Review, please! **


	10. Lucius Malfoy

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews **

_**Kapitel X: Lucius Malfoy**_

Snape managed to dress so quickly Draco wondered whether magic was involved. He kept fumbling with the buttons himself, and when he eventually had gotten his shirt on properly, he completely forgot how to knot his tie. Snape watched him impatiently, then took over so roughly Draco felt as if he was being strangled. A hot wave of excitement washed over him again, and he gave Snape a kiss that was _so _much more than that. Snape finished what he was doing and pushed him away.

"Stupid boy," he hissed, "do you wish to have me suspended for a lifetime?" Draco blushed, irritatingly enough, but he knew Snape was right. Within a few seconds, they had positioned themselves to look as if they were having a boring teacher-student-conversation about boring stuff. Snape gave Draco a warning look, and Draco nodded seriously. It would be equally bad for both of them if they were discovered.

"Come in," Snape said loudly. The door opened so carefully you might think the person entering was scared of detonating a bomb or something if the door creaked just a little. It was a gryffindor; a First-year. He seemed surprised to find both Snape and Draco in there, but cleared his throat a few times and then said:

"Professor Snape, Sir… Headmaster Dumbledore wants to see you in his office immediately. And…" - he looked in Draco's direction but didn't dare to meet his eyes – "and Mr Malfoy too." Snape got to his feet and gesticulated to Draco to follow his example.

"Thanks, McGrath," he told the First-year, "you may leave." The gryffindor seemed truly happy to hear those words, and withdrew hastily. Draco looked at Snape with big eyes.

"I can't see the Headmaster looking like this… He'll understand, Professor, he sees everything…" Snape sighed, turning his eyes up to heaven.

"The Headmaster is hardly able to read thoughts, Draco. Stop acting like a schoolgirl and follow me." He gave him one last, irritated look and went with his robes billowing after him. Draco hurried after. He could guess why the Headmaster wanted to see him. And if he was right, Albus Dumbledore would not be alone in his office…

Outside the door to Dumbledore's office, Snape stopped and turned to Draco.

"Pretend as if we just met in the corridor," he whispered. Draco nodded, then stole another kiss. Snape stared at him.

"You _do _want to have me suspended…" Draco laughed.

"Never! But somebody has to make things happen at Hogwarts…" Snape's expression suggested that he thought trolls, poltergeists and magical creatures took care of _that _well enough already, but on his face was also the shadow of a smile. And that smile had something soft about it, something Draco had never seen before.

"Draco…" For a short moment, things were very, very beautiful, but then Snape shrugged and knocked on the door. Suddenly, Draco realized he was scared.

As they entered the big room, a furious Lucius Malfoy rushed at Draco.

"Draco! I want no more of these foolish games! You are to go home with me immediately!" Dumbledore, who was leaning comfortably against an armchair in the other end of the room, held up his hand and said:

"Lucius… There are always reasons, don't you think?" Lucius turned around.

"I am upset, Headmaster – very upset!" Dumbledore ignored him and turned to Snape instead.

"Severus…I thought I'd better call on you in your capacity as Head of Slytherin," he said. Snape nodded. Draco didn't even dare to glance at him, as he was afraid Dumbledore might get suspicious. He couldn't bring himself to look at his father either, but for entirely different reasons. How could Dumbledore be able to stop his father from bringing him home for Christmas, if Lucius demanded it?

"Well, Draco," Dumbledore said in a very kind voice, peering at him through his spectacles, "Tell us, why do you not wish to spend this Christmas with your father?" Draco wondered how they would react if he fainted. Cold sweat appeared on his forehead. There was no way he could tell the truth – it was too revolting – and what lies could he possibly use? For the moment, he couldn't come up with a single one, and panic began to creep under his skin. If he was forced to go home…right now, when he had so much to _do _at Hogwarts…

"Excuse me, Mr Malfoy." He winked, surprised. The voice belonged to Snape, who was now looking at his father with eyes that didn't reveal anything.

"This might be hard for Draco to tell you. You see, the reason your son has been so keen to stay here is because he is very ill." Draco had to keep himself from doing something stupid. Snape…was trying to save him…

"He had a very high fever last week and spent a few days in the Hospital Wing, where… Well, Madame Pomfrey, the nurse, discovered that this was a disease completely unknown to her. I managed to find the potion that can save Draco only about an hour ago, but if you wish to see your son fully recovered again, I suggest you let him stay so that I can dose the potion correctly and make changes to it if necessary." Lucius moved closer towards Draco, his gray eyes cold and suspicious.

"The disease can be – ah- _infectious_, especially between those who are closely related." Draco knew Snape had pushed the right buttons this time. His father backed away several steps, then smiled apologetically.

"Oh, then I'll just… I'd better go back home alone, I guess… Let's hope you get well soon, Draco." He nodded shortly in Dumbledore's direction and then disappeared through the door. Draco wondered if his father could possibly be that naïve.

Dumbledore beamed at him, then turned to watch his Phoenix who was just glowing in the most beautiful colours. Draco felt Snape's fingers glide over his back in a very promising way, and he smiled. For the first time ever, he was really looking forward to Christmas.

**A/N: I didn't have time to read it through so I just hope it's alright. This might be the ending, I'm not sure yet. Hope you noticed there's not a cliff-hanger…**


	11. Christmas day

3

Author's Note: Thanks to all reviewers! Sorry it took so long, but here it is…   
Chapter XI: Christmas Day 

They were on a meadow, and everything was light around them. The sun was very close, but it still didn't hurt his eyes. How had they got here? He was lying in the grass and his body was weak from love, weak yet strong, shivering. The arms holding him were strong, they wouldn't let him go. He didn't want to go, ever. He wanted more.

Draco woke up with a yawn and remembered the dream with a smile. He had dreamt similar things ever since the incident in the office, and no matter how silly and embarrassingly romantic each and every dream was, he liked to think about them during the days, walking up and down the corridors. It was like a foretaste of what was about to come. During the two days that had passed since he had seduced Snape, they hadn't even spoken to each other, mainly because Draco hadn't seen the Potions master at all after they had left Dumbledore's office. Frustration gnawed inside him. It didn't have to be sex, a kiss or two would have been enough, but why this complete absence? Draco had been lurking near the Staff room, the Potions classroom, Snape's office, the Great Hall – every place were the teacher might be. But all Draco saw was Hufflepuffs singing Christmas carols, over-ambitious Gryffindors, studying Ravenclaws and the absolutely insufferable Peeves. Dumbledore met his gaze sometimes – when it happened, Draco quickly turned his eyes away. Whatever Snape said: The old man _was _able to read thoughts, and he knew _everything_.

This morning was the beginning of Christmas Day, and Draco had more reason than usual to be happy about it. He hadn't forgotten Snape's promise. Oh – he really hadn't. It tickled inside him as he thought about what would happen…

After a quick shower, he got dressed and went down to the tree in the Common Room. There were enough presents to satisfy all the Slytherin Sixth-years, but all the things piled up on the floor were for him alone. Draco sighed. From Italy, his mother had sent exclusive copies of some of the most advanced Potions books available, along with a very expensive, tailor-made Italian suit. The letter that came with the presents expressed, between the lines, what she really felt:

"I hope the suit fits you, darling. I am very happy here in Milano. I believe I must have been a wealthy Italian witch in a former life, because the climate makes me feel so alive and everything is truly different from England, especially the _people_. Don't be very disappointed, sweetie, if I stay longer than I first thought – of course, your father won't mind… When I return, I will bring more new clothes to you, you know that Italy is the only place were you can find garments with class and style, apart from France, _naturallement_. Well, I hope you'll have a wonderful Christmas, darling Draco." Signed: "Your mother, Narcissa." He tossed the small piece of parchment away and avoided to look at it. Why did she have to write when she had absolutely nothing to say? For her, everything was about looks and correctness, about how things looked on the surface. Her entire life was a façade. In spite of his disappointment with the letter, Draco glanced through some of the books, interested against his will, and then tried the suit on. He actually looked quite handsome in it, not to say annoyingly good-looking, and decided to keep it on for a while. Then, he went over to open the gifts from his father. Lucius had sent a very interesting, ancient Dark Magic book, a bottle containing a dangerous potion that could make people go out of their minds, and many boxes where Draco discovered various rare and hard-to-find ingredients for Potions. He knew all those gifts were just the effect of the silent war going on between his parents, and that he _should _hate them and refuse to accept them, but he was still very happy he now owned stuff people would really envy him for (not that anyone would ever know about the gifts his father had sent – the book alone would be enough to send both father and son into the terror of Azkaban). All of it would be useful, and he knew his parents had spent many Galleons just to make him love them.

He carried all the things up to his bed, changed into his usual clothes again and returned to the Common Room. There were a few gifts left; from his grandparents and other close relatives, plus two boxes of Chocolate Frogs from Crabbe and Goyle. He sat down in an armchair and bit the head of a Chocolate Frog. The anxiety in his body was back, stronger this time. Before the day was over, it would have happened… Draco smiled broadly at the thought.

But day turned to night, and even though Draco had taken a walk passing all the usual places, he hadn't seen Snape. During supper in the Great Hall Snape had been absent, and Draco couldn't ask another teacher where he was no matter how much he wanted to. At eight o'clock he returned to the Slytherin Common Room, angry and hurt. How could Snape just toy with his feelings like this? Two days ago everything had been perfect! He stared into the sparkling fire for a moment, tried to come up with clever excuses to why Snape had disappeared. He couldn't think of a single one. His anger grew, and finally he rushed out of the room again, being hurt, wanting to hurt. If Snape didn't want him, Draco wouldn't dream of waiting in vain. He walked the corridors at random, after just a couple of minutes finding what he had been looking for. Another boy. This one was a lonely, skinny Ravenclaw, Draco recalled his name was Shelley, with pale hands and big eyes. Some people were so very easy to persuade, and Shelley was one of them. Draco took him to the Common Room, one arm nonchalantly around his waist, and as soon as they were there they began kissing each other.

"Don't look, Camilla!" Draco heard an old lady in a painting exclaim as she put her hand over her young, innocent daughter's eyes. He smiled, and his hands slid under Shelley's shirt. Snape or not, he would get sex anyway… Still, it didn't feel as good as it used to. Somewhere inside, he just wanted to stop it immediately. He didn't feel anything for Shelley, he really didn't, and it was so painfully clear how different these kisses were from the ones he had exchanged with Snape a few days earlier. Draco pressed his body against Shelley's and tried to think that the thin boy was a grown man. It was hard, not to say impossible. He caressed the boy's hair, sucked at his throat, tried to find something to love. Shelley's lips moved downwards, and Draco gasped. He closed his eyes, ready for absolute bliss. Instead, something absolutely terrible happened. A thick ear made his head hit the wall, and he heard the door close with a bang and realized Shelley was gone. And when he opened his eyes again, Snape was standing in front of him with eyes darker than ever, and lips that were white with anger.

**A/N: Oh my. R&R please!**


	12. The punishment

1

_**Chapter II: The punishment**_

For a brief second, he thought he would faint. All the excitement was gone, thoughts flickered in his brain. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Snape looked at him with both disappointment and contempt in his dark eyes, all so very different from how they had glittered when Draco had told him he loved him.

"I'm sorry," Draco whispered, his voice hoarse. Snape snorted, and his eyes were colder than ever.

"Sorry about what?" he said. "Since when did you have any obligations towards me, Malfoy?"

Draco felt tears well forth in his eyes, and swallowed a sob. Snape could be mad at him, punish him, ask him why he had behaved so stupidly…but this – _no feelings at all_. It was worse than anything else.

"You didn't show up…" he mumbled. Snape smiled scornfully.

"We have never made any sort of agreement," he said. "But I trust it you know perfectly well it is absolutely prohibited to…do what you did just now…in the Common Rooms. I hope you realize that, Malfoy." He turned away and went towards the door. Draco let the tears stream down his cheeks, didn't bother to wipe them away.

"I only wanted to make you jealous," he cried. "I don't like him…I don't even remember his name…" Snape's eyes met his.

"Shelley," he said and left.

The lady in the painting was one of those people who like to give words of advice to practically everyone they meet.

"Young man, that was a _very _inappropriate performance!" she said loudly and pointed at him with a thick finger. Draco had huddled up in one of the armchairs in the Common Room, still semi-naked and with a face that was wet with tears. How could he have messed it all up like that – no, messed it up wasn't the right expression, he had rather destroyed his life in just a couple of minutes. He swore at Shelley, but knew of course that nothing was the other boy's fault. It was he, Draco, who had seduced another boy just because. Because Snape hadn't turned up, because Draco had thought Snape had forgotten about him. What a stupid little child he was! He bit his own finger but couldn't make it bleed. What could he do to make Snape forgive him? He knew both he and the teacher were possibly the most vain people at Hogwarts, and that he himself would have reacted just the way Snape had, had he been deceived. Unfortunately, he also knew that if he was the one who had seen his lover with someone else, he would rather die than forgive and forget.

"Fuck!" he said in a low voice and clenched his fist. Sure, he could go to Snape's office and ask for forgiveness on his bare knees, show all his weakness, let Snape do whatever he wanted to do with him, tear his clothes off – but he knew that his heart would break if Snape looked at him with those cold eyes again.

Draco got to his feet ever so slowly and wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.

"Oh, Mother, don't you pity the little boy?" the young girl in the painting said, and the lady sniffed at her. Draco sighed. He had just remembered it was still Christmas Day.

That night was one of the worst in Draco's life. When he later recalled this Christmas break, he always avoided thinking about the Christmas night…it was too painful. Among the potions ingredients his father had given him were those, that mixed together became one of the most dangerous potions known to wizardkind – the Potions equivalent to Avada Kedavra, to which there were no antidotes. Draco had the recipe, now also the ingredients – and he had the death-longing that was necessary. It was hardly what his parents had wanted, when they bought his gifts, that they by giving him the books and the poisonous plants gave him everything he needed to take his own life. All night he was standing by his kettle, putting little green leaves and various strange flowers in its boiling depths. His tears fell into the concoction, and every time a drop reached the content of the kettle it blended with the potion after giving out tiny, purple-coloured sparks.

Once the potion was ready, Draco poured some of it into a goblet. It was glowing like red fire, and the fumes that rose from it made him cough. He wondered if it would kill him instantly, or if he would have to endure a slow, painful death. It didn't matter much. He put his cloak on and left the dungeons. With the goblet hidden under the cloak he stood outside Snape's office a moment later, knocking on the door.

The door opened and Snape looked at him, as cold as ever. Draco forced back his tears.

"I don't accept visits this late, Malfoy," Snape said. Draco managed to get inside though – Snape made no physical attempt to stop him – and stopped by the desk. Here they had kissed…loved each other…

"Like I said, Malfoy," Snape said in an even colder voice. In spite of his own words, he closed the door.

"I won't stay long," Draco said trying to stay calm. "I just want you to know…that I can't live without you." He took the goblet, that he had been hiding. Snape grew very pale – he, of course, recognized the potion.

"I love you more than anything else," Draco said in a low voice and put the goblet to his lips.

"Draco…!" Snape exclaimed. Draco felt the liquid pour down his throat, then how his entire body became strange, as if he wasn't part of it anymore… strong arms held him…

After that, everything went dark.


	13. Tears

2

**A/N: This is SO sentimental. **

_**Chapter III: Tears**_

The universe swirled through his brain in a labyrinth of the most terrible emptiness…

Draco had never felt so bad in his entire life. Not only physically, but also mentally – it was as he had been fully devoured by pain. What had happened after he had fallen to the floor with the goblet in his hand? He should be dead now. There hadn't been a single drop of potion left when he stopped drinking, he was sure of it. It was sad, somehow, that he would have to die unloved and in a crying fit at the age of sixteen. That he would stop breathing in the very room where he had loved another human being for the first time. Could things never stay beautiful? He sobbed – and realized, all of a sudden, that he was still alive. His senses were coming back to him, and he could tell he was lying on the floor. But he was held close by the man he had deceived, and Draco heard something that made him very surprised – Snape was crying. Not in an actually audible or exaggerated way, not at all; somehow, Draco just heard the echo of sobs in his breathing. Snape held him as if he had been a fragile porcelain doll, and whispered inaudible words every now and then. With an effort, Draco opened his eyes – and saw the sparkling, lonely tears running down the black-clad man's cheeks. Draco's heart made a leap in pure confusion, and he felt how he started crying himself.

"I'm not dead," he whispered in a faint voice. Snape looked at him, and before they had any time to wonder about how Draco had survived, they put their arms around each other. Snape held him tight and said:

"Draco…I thought…that you never…" He didn't finish the sentence. Draco realized he was probably the first student ever who had seen the Potions master act like this – but he was probably the first to have had a secret relationship with him as well.

"How did you survive… I saw you drank it all," Snape said, his voice steadier now. Draco shook his head.

"I've no idea. I prepared it really carefully…" Snape pushed him away a little, gently, and watched him closely.

"Were you crying while preparing it?" Draco blushed, stupidly enough since he was crying now too, and said:

"Yeah…a lot." Snape smiled, and kissed him lightly.

"I love you, Draco," he said as if the words weren't special at all. "Tears neutralize the death potion and makes it completely harmless."

No more mistakes. This was Draco's rule above all others, now that he had managed to make Snape forgive him and could look back at the thoughtless encounter with Shelley in nothing but shame and disgust. The Ravenclaw boy sometimes tried to catch his eye in the corridors, but Draco ignored him like only a Malfoy can ignore other people. He spent most of his time walking around in the castle, day-dreaming and thinking about his new way of life. Wondered, actually quite often, what his father would say if he knew… Draco didn't know that much about how well Snape and his father knew each other, he knew of course that they used to talk whenever Lucius was at Hogwarts (too often, in Draco's opinion), but all that stuff about the Death Eaters…He knew his father was one, and that was all he needed to know, but he truly hoped Snape wasn't one. Lucius expected, obviously, that his only son would follow in his footsteps, serve Voldemort, but Draco didn't want to serve anyone. He laughed to himself as he thought of it; wondered what would upset his father most – that his son was gay, or that his son refused to be a Death Eater?

The remaining days of the break he only saw Snape briefly, in empty hallways where they didn't do more than kiss (once right in front of a painting where a tiny vicar was sitting, making terrified gestures without being able to say a word). Draco felt as if he was living in a never-ending intoxication, that was only shadowed sometimes by short letters from his father, obviously written just to make him feel guilty. He saw, on various occasions, how Potter and his friends stared at him as if he had been transformed into a green elephant, and he realized he was looking happy and friendly for a change. It didn't bother him. Snape had confessed that he loved him, and Draco had never been happier. And soon, all too soon, the Christmas break was over and Hogwarts was filled with students and homework again.

**A/N: Sophie, you were right of course J Now, next chapter is a sexual one. I can't promise Draco won't cry in that too… He's such a baby. **


	14. Detected

2

_**Chapter IV: Detected**_

Pansy had stopped spreading rumours, but was still a real nuisance when she returned to Hogwarts.

"Draco, I have forgiven you," she declared in the middle of one of Professor Binns' boring classes. Crabbe and Goyle smiled encouragingly at Draco, believing he would be happy, but nothing could have been more wrong. Terrified, Draco realized Pansy's sudden change of feelings towards him could complicate things when it came to his secret meetings with Snape; surely, she would follow every step he took. He looked straight into her dark eyes and said:

"I don't know what you're talking about." Even before he had said it, he knew he had chosen the wrong tactics, but he was too tired to bother. Pansy's friends gave him angry looks – Pansy herself snorted.

"Your problem, Draco," she said in an acid tone, "is that you are _just _the same as all other men." The whole group of girls nodded in agreement. Draco, who thought Pansy was completely wrong, smiled sweetly at her.

"Why, what else should I be?" Pansy shrugged her shoulders and seemed to consider whether to swallow her pride and beg for his love for a while. But she didn't, and their conversation ended. Draco turned to the desk and allowed Professor Binns' endless monologue about the quarrel concerning the prohibition of dragon breeding in 1709 sink into his brain and make it go all numb. He was longing for the first Potions class…

If Draco had ever been worried about other students (or teachers, for that matter) noticing anything strange in Snape's behaviour after the break, all his anxiety went away after the first Potions lesson with the Gryffindors. Snape swept through the room in his usual, bat-like way, made nasty comments on every stupid mistake Longbottom made and gave Harry Potter evil glances. Not even when he was standing right behind Draco to take a look at the contents in his and Crabbe's kettle did he for one second give anyone reason to suspect he had been crying for Draco a week earlier, or that he had whispered many inappropriate things in his young student's ear. It was good – but also very, very irritating. Draco himself couldn't concentrate at all when Snape was around, he blushed and made mistakes, he seemed so utterly confused Potter and Weasley burst out laughing at the sight of him (which made Snape take fifteen points from Gryffindor).

"Er, Draco…" Crabbe muttered slowly at least twice, and Draco realized, devastated, that he had made mistakes that were so foolish and irrational even Crabbe had noticed. Snape, however, pretended not to see that his favourite student had, once again, a terribly bad day. At the end of class, when everybody had rushed out of the dungeon, Draco stayed. Snape shut the door and turned to him. His smile was barely noticeable.

"You didn't do very well today, Draco…" Draco sighed, knowing of course that Snape was right. He moved closer to the teacher, and slid into his arms as soon as they were close enough. Snape put his hands on Draco's narrow hips.

"I can do well in other ways," Draco whispered and they kissed, hesitantly at first and then more passionately. When the kiss ended, Draco noticed they had moved over to the desk, and almost without thinking, he leaned against it until he was lying on the desk while Snape unbuttoned his shirt quite skillfully. The striped green tie fell to the floor, and Draco couldn't help moaning. Finally…_finally…_

He turned over so he was lying with his nose pressed into the desk, and wondered if Snape would understand that he really wanted…But he didn't need to worry much longer. Draco had never – sure, he had had sex, many times, but not like this – never like this. He felt like a scared little girl being fucked for the first time, and he was relieved Snape seemed to understand this. Of course, it was pain, but it was pain mixed with pleasure and given with gentleness.

"You've done this before, haven't you," he gasped as his body was pushed against the desk. Snape laughed shortly.

"I have, yes," he said, breathing heavily. "If you absolutely wish to know." Draco tried to nod.

"I've never…" he began, mostly to just keep talking. Snape moaned with pleasure and then said:

"_That _is pretty obvious, Draco…" Then, it was over; Draco had been _sodomized _for the very first time and felt both half-dead, physically, and very dizzy. He turned to lie on his back again and put his arms around Snape's neck, pulled him down and kissed him with lips that were swollen with love.

"I love you, it fucking kills me to love you like this…" he whispered. Their lips met again.

Later, they regretted bitterly that they had forgotten to lock the door.

"Professor Snape, I was just going to…" The hoarse voice died away in a very alarming way. Draco turned his face to the doorway; Snape did the same. "Oh no", was all Draco had time to think. "It can't get worse than this!" But it could. Because behind the door was someone else, and the high-pitched scream echoed between the walls of the castle:

"DRACO!"


	15. Minerva

3

A/N: Thanx for the reviews, much appreciated of course. This is, I guess, one of my favourite chapters… a bit of shouting is always nice ;)

_**Chapter V: Minerva**_

Draco had never seen anything that even resembled the expression that was now to be seen on the caretaker Argus Filch's face. The skinny old man in his filthy clothes stood still in the doorway, staring at the scene in front of him. Snape held Draco close, both of them as pale as ghosts.

"Well, I'm very sorry then, Professor," Filch muttered in a strangely mechanical way. His fingers moved nervously over each other, and Draco wondered who would have a heart attack first; Filch or Snape.

"GET OUT!" Snape roared, finally able to talk again. Filch gave a start.

"Everybody does what they think is best," he said, looking extremely confused.

"I hope you realize that you'd better keep quiet about this, Filch," Snape said, his voice full of anger that he tried not to show. "It would be…_unwise _to do anything else." Filch nodded – he was, after all, much more loyal to Snape than to all the other teachers. But as he looked at Draco, it was with inscrutable, dark eyes; it was as if everything Filch had ever believed in had been smashed into tiny pieces, all at once. Draco himself didn't dare to meet neither Snape's nor Filch's eyes – he was scared Snape might blame him for what had happened and be furious at him. Filch made his first attempt to escape the whole terribly embarrassing situation, but turned around just before he left the room.

"The girl, Professor… The girl who was with me… I can't guarantee her silence."

Draco shut his eyes as a sort of pain made his mind ache. Why, why couldn't Filch have been alone? If his guesses were correct, then his and Snape's secret would soon be common knowledge – since it was Pansy and no one else who had been standing in the doorway with the caretaker and seen them naked in each other's arms.

After a quick shower, they got dressed again and then stood in the middle of the dungeon, staring at each other.

"I will lose my position," Snape said in a barely audible voice. "They'll think I use to seduce students…" Draco saw that the teacher was in deep despair, just as he was himself. He could feel fear beat him senseless as he realized what a letter from Dumbledore to Lucius Malfoy would mean. He would be expelled…forced to stay at Malfoy Manor for the rest of his life… Apart from this, and much worse, was the fact that his father probably would do anything to destroy Snape's life – even if they happened to be friends at the moment. Although he tried to stop himself, Draco couldn't help crying at the thought of it. Snape watched him for a while, his face expressionless; then, he stepped forward and embraced his young lover.

"Be calm, Draco," he said, sounding a little impatient. "Don't forget who is the headmaster at Hogwarts." Draco looked at him.

"What does it matter if Dumbledore's in charge," he sobbed. "Just because he's nice to some people, that doesn't mean he won't be happy to expel someone like me." Snape said nothing, he simply caressed Draco's hair. All of a sudden, the door flung open and Professor McGonagall rushed in, closely followed by Pansy. The slytherin girl seemed to be in a state of shock and stared at Draco as if they had never met before.

"Professor Snape!" McGonagall said in an extremely loud voice. Snape, who had backed a few steps from Draco when the door opened, looked at her, obviously trying to remain calm. Draco knew very well that McGonagall was possibly the worst person Pansy could have gossiped to. He was already preparing for seeing his father again…

"Professor McGonagall," Snape said. McGonagall looked completely mad, and even Pansy seemed a little scared of her.

"The worst thing I have ever heard!" McGonagall screamed, making a dramatic gesture using both of her arms. "The… absolutely worst…! And I though you were… Well, I had never expected something like this from you!" She made a pause before she continued:

"And in here of all places! A classroom, Professor Snape, have you any idea what this means?" Snape tried to say something, but McGonagall took a deep breath and then exclaimed:

"DRACO MALFOY IS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD! You, Professor, could be his father! How dare you use your position in this shameful way? How dare you! I have never heard of anything like this, that's all I'm saying! Is this your idea of what a Head of House should be doing? Is this the reason you favour Malfoy in your sick way? I should have seen it… told Dumbledore from the start… Then again, you should never trust a slytherin…" Draco cleared his throat.

"Professor McGonagall," he said in a calm voice. "Professor Snape never forced me to do anything. I love him. If you are to punish him, then you'll have to punish me too." He blushed as he realized what he had just said.

"Draco!" Pansy exclaimed in a terrified voice. "What are you saying? There's no need to protect him, he won't be able to hurt you again!" Professor McGonagall nodded and looked into Draco's eyes. He continued:

"It's true, Professor McGonagall. I love him more than anything and no one can take that away from me. We haven't done anything wrong. I'm almost grown up now and I do as I like." Pansy started to weep, silently. McGonagall didn't look mad anymore, as she said in a mild voice:

"Well, Mr Malfoy… I'm sure you do, but I'm not the one deciding what to do in this school. Dumbledore must have his say in the matter, I'm afraid. Now, come with me, and you too, Miss Parkinson. And you" – she nodded shortly in Snape's direction – "you're coming too."


	16. Leaving

**A/N: I'm sorry that I haven't updated for a very long time, and I didn't really think I was going to finish this story, but it doesn't feel right to make people start reading a fic without giving them the end of it. I'm still as bad at translating as I was six months ago, but I'll try...**

_**Chapter VI: Leaving**_

Draco felt as if he was about to faint. Partly because his entire body was aching, partly because the current situation was so terrible and humiliating. They had just been more or less pushed into the Headmaster's office by McGonagall, he was standing next to Snape and the Transfiguration teacher was eyeing them suspiciously from her place near the door. Pansy hid herself behind her. Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen. Draco felt Snape's fingertips against his own – cold as always. He didn't dare to speak, hardly to breathe either. McGonagall's aggressive looks told him what would happen if he made a sound. Pansy refused to look at him, and seemed to have developed an unnatural interest in her own Prefect badge.

"Dumbledore," McGonagall said in a loud voice, her eyes looking for the old wizard. Draco closed his eyes and forced himself to stay calm. His father would punish him...one way...or another...

"Minerva?" Dumbledore came walking down the stairs from the other end of the room, as calm as ever. "Severus?"

"Dumbledore, we are here because..." McGonagall began. The headmaster looked at her as if to remind her of something he could not tell the other people present.

"My dear Minerva, I hope this isn't about the same thing as yesterday, when you brought Miss Granger and Mr Weasley to see me?" he asked, at the same time nodding in the direction of Draco and Pansy. McGonagall blushed.

"Well, not really, Dumbledore... The thing is..." Her cheeks reddened even more, and Draco realised, with a bit of malicious delight, that she had no idea how she was going to tell the Headmaster something like this.

"Miss Parkinson," she hissed, forcing Pansy to step out into the middle of the room. "Now tell the Headmaster what you saw!" Pansy seemed very close to refuse telling Dumbledore anything, but then her eyes met Draco's, and she cleared her throat and looked at Dumbledore.

"Um, well, Headmaster... It was after Potions. Today, I mean. I went there with Filch" – Draco could hear Snape whispering a very dirty word to himself – "and then they were lying there. You know, naked and all." She blushed, looking as if she was about to cry. Dumbledore frowned.

"Excuse me, Miss Parkinson... _who _did this? Laid there naked...and all?" Pansy hid behind McGonagall's back again and didn't answer.

"Minerva?" McGonagall gave Snape a furious look, before she looked straight at Dumbledore, exclaiming:

"Don't you understand? It's them, Dumbledore, why else would they be standing there? Professor Snape has, if I may say so, seduced one of his own students and should therefore be suspended, according to the school rules. Draco Malfoy is, as you of course know, a minor and we have to send a letter to his parents immediately, telling them about this unfortunate incident." She inhaled quickly and then went on:

"Haven't I told you this numerous times, Dumbledore? Professor Snape has way too much influence in this school! We knew something like this was going to happen sooner or later, didn't we? I told you, the very year Malfoy came here, that there were going to be problems..."

"You did not," Dumbledore smiled. "Very well, I hear that things have happened, things that have made some of us rather upset." Draco thought the headmaster winked at him, but wasn't sure. Dumbledore moved closer to him and Snape, looking thoroughly at them both.

"Is it true, Severus?" he asked in his usual, kind voice. Snape was very silent for a moment.

"I'm afraid it is true, Headmaster," he said at last. "But believe me, I have never _seduced _Malfoy, no matter what Professor McGonagall insinuates." Dumbledore nodded, then turned to Draco.

"Mr Malfoy?" Draco wanted to cry, to beg on his knees that nobody would tell his parents anything, threaten to commit suicide if Dumbledore made Snape leave Hogwarts. Instead, he said in a feeble voice:

"Headmaster, Professor Snape hasn't done anything wrong. It was I who... who..." Dumbledore raised one of his white eyebrows.

"According to Miss Parkinson, that isn't true at all," he said. Pansy sighed, then stepped out in front of all of them.

"Can't you see they're in love? It's obvious, for God's sake! You don't have to punish them, Headmaster, because I will! I'll make sure _everybody_ will know about this by tomorrow evening, that'll be enough punishment. Draco, I thought we had something, and I can't believe how wrong I was... I wonder how people will react when you enter the Great Hall next time..." She laughed, then rushed out of the room. Draco felt ill.

"Oh dear..." McGonagall mumbled. "Oh, Dumbledore, this isn't good. What if... what if there will be a lynching or... or worse than that... I'm only saying" – she glanced in Snape's direction – "that Professor Snape isn't exactly the most popular teacher we have here at Hogwarts, and Malfoy..." She stopped talking very quickly. Dumbledore nodded, for the first time looking sad and very serious.

"I will hand in my resignation at once," Snape said suddenly. Draco felt something cold and evil touch his heart. Snape couldn't leave Hogwarts... he just couldn't...

"Do not give up that easily, Severus," Dumbledore said. But Snape seemed to have made up his mind.

"It is the only possible solution," he said and went towards the door. Draco panicked, and before he knew what he was doing, he had grabbed hold of Snape's arm and put his arms around him.

"Don't do this," he whispered, looking into Snape's dark eyes. "Don't leave me here!"

"Draco..." Snape mumbled. He stroke Draco's hair carefully, without letting Dumbledore and McGonagall see what he was doing.

"I will always love you," Draco said, and kissed him. He heard McGonagall gasp, and pressed himself close to Snape while tears began to gather in his eyes. Snape pushed him away, mildly, and looked at him.

"Don't cry, Draco," he said. Then, he turned to Dumbledore.

"Headmaster, I will be leaving tonight." And as the tears started streaming down Draco's pale cheeks, Snape left the room like a beautiful, black shadow.


	17. Pansy's revenge

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews! And thank you Da Jazzman for suggesting that I should write a summary, which I now intend to do... I'm not very good at writing summaries, but I'll try:

**_Summary_**

**Draco is in his sixth year. The story begins a few weeks before Christmas, and unlike everyone else, Draco doesn't look forward to it at all. He doesn't want to go home to Malfoy Manor, where he and his father will be alone for the entire Christmas break, because he has a strong feeling that Lucius will... well, rape him. At the same time, Draco is in love with Professor Snape, but he's also fooling around a bit with Pansy, who thinks they are a couple and will always be together. When Draco tells her that whatever they had is definitely over, Pansy goes mad and tells everybody that he is a really bad lover. **

**To stay at Hogwarts during the break, Draco drinks a potion that gives him a really high fever, and he plans to stay in the Hospital Wing until nobody can force him to go home anymore. Everybody believes he is really ill – except Snape, who visits him and tells Draco that he knows this isn't a real fever. Draco then tells Snape to put his hand on his forehead and see for himself, and when Snape reluctantly leans over the bed, Draco kisses him. Snape leaves, he clearly is a bit confused.**

**The next night, Snape visits Draco again, this time bringing an antidote to the potion Draco has used. Draco takes the antidote, but only after Snape has promised him to talk to Dumbledore about sending a letter to Lucius saying that Draco has to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas.**

**Lucius sends a letter to Draco telling him how disappointed he is. Draco is scared and afraid. The break has begun, most people have left the school. Being the only slytherin student left, and of course being in love with Snape, Draco decides to go and talk to the Potions master, in his office. **

**In there, Snape grabs hold of his arm, asking him in a low voice why he kissed him in the Hospital Wing. Draco is a little afraid – then, he feels Snape's fingertips stroke his arm, until the hand gets a strong grip around his wrist, and Draco turns around, and they kiss, undress and have sex. Then, somebody knocks on the door – a student, telling them both to see Dumbledore in his office. Dumbledore is not alone, Lucius is with him, and he is very angry and wants Draco to go home with him immediately. However, Snape rescues Draco by telling Lucius Draco is very ill and that he has to stay at Hogwarts, since Snape is the only one who knows exactly how to make him well again. Lucius accepts this, and leaves. **

**Snape has promised Draco that they will meet again on Christmas Day, alone, and Draco longs for this. But when the evening comes and Snape is nowhere to be seen, Draco loses his patience, finds a sweet Ravenclaw boy – Shelley – and takes him to the Slytherin Common Room, where they make out. But of course, Snape walks in on them. Shelley leaves, and Snape looks at Draco as if he didn't know him, as if he didn't care at all about him.**

**Snape's behaviour hurts Draco so much that he wants to commit suicide. He makes a potion that will kill him, cries a lot, and goes to Snape's office with the potion in a goblet. Snape is as cold as ever, and Draco drinks the potion in front of him. He's sure he will die, but he wakes up in Snape's arms, and Snape has tears in his eyes, and tells him that the potion is neutralized by tears, and that he loves him. The remaining days of the break, they meet as often as possible. **

**Once the spring term begins and Hogwarts is filled with people again, Draco finds it almost impossible to even think during Potions, but Snape doesn't seem to be at all bothered by the fact that he's having some sort of relationship with one of his students. One day, after Potions, when all the others have left, they close the door to the classroom and have sex on Snape's desk. But unfortunately, they have forgotten to lock the door, and Filch and Pansy walks in on them. Pansy screams, and runs away, but Filch vaguely promises Snape not to tell anybody. Then, he leaves. Snape and Draco get their clothes back on, just in time before Pansy comes back with McGonagall, who is _very _upset. She takes them to Dumbledore's office, but even if Dumbledore doesn't seem to think it's such a big deal, things get disastrous when Pansy says that she is going to let everyone know what she has seen, just to punish Draco for not wanting to be her boyfriend. Snape resigns voluntarily, it seems to be the best thing he can do, and Draco cries, begging him not to leave. But he leaves, of course, and Draco is left all alone at Hogwarts. **

_**Chapter VII: Pansy's revenge**_

When Draco entered the Great Hall the next morning, there was just a complete silence in there. He had been crying the whole night, and he knew that was easy to see. Crabbe & Goyle weren't with him this time – he was all alone.

At first, it did seem as if he was going to get through this after all, as if Pansy had decided not to tell anyone, but then Draco realised he had walked straight into the gates of hell. Everything started with the buzzing noise of people whispering. Then somebody made a shrill whistle, and someone else followed his example... and, wishing he hadn't heard the words, Draco heard somebody shout:

"You must be really great in bed, Malfoy, he didn't give you all those points for nothing after all!" It was Bixley, that idiot. But now, Draco had no clever answers, not a single scornful look to give the laughing third-year – he just looked down at his shoes and went on to his seat.

"Hey, Malfoy, thanks for making Snape leave!" Ron Weasley shouted, laughing at Draco's insecure appearance and blushing cheeks. Hermione Granger told Weasley (and Potter) to shut up, but what did it matter, when everybody else were staring, whispering, laughing... Draco knew that he would start to cry if he didn't concentrate so desperately on not doing it. If he cried, things would get even worse. He didn't glance at the teachers' table, knew already that _he _wasn't there. If only they had remembered to lock the door...!

"That's the most disgusting thing I have ever heard!" Cho Chang at the Ravenclaw table exclaimed as he passed her. They didn't understand... couldn't understand... He saw people were pointing at the empty place at the teachers' table, the place where Snape used to sit. He knew he would go insane if he stayed any longer, still he continued to the Slytherin table, sat down between his gorilla friends as usual. They stared at him without saying anything, and he made no attempts to talk to them.

"You're having regrets now, I hope?" Pansy said, smiling in a mean way. Draco looked at her for a couple of seconds.

"Never," he said. "The only thing I regret is that I ever forced myself to sleep with you. I love Snape." Pansy's smile faded into a disgusted expression, and all the other people who had heard him reacted by either squealing (the first-year girls), staring at each other (Crabbe & Goyle), making comments showing how disgusted they were (most of the students) or gasping as if Draco's words were the most romantic ones ever spoken (that strange Luna girl in Ravenclaw). Draco lowered his gaze and tried to get some appetite.

"That is so disgusting," he heard Bixley say. "That's so _fucking _disgusting!" Lots of boys nodded and agreed loudly.

"How the hell can you have _sex_ with a teacher? With Snape! You...you bloody queer, do you know how fucking old he is or what?" Bixley again. Draco swallowed. He wished he could just become invisible, or fly away on his broom, but there was simply nothing he could do right now...

"No," Draco said, telling the truth. "And you know what, I don't care."

"Listen, Malfoy... Does your father know about this?" For the first time this morning, Draco felt really, really scared. Suddenly, he realised that they could blackmail him, threaten to tell his father... and if his father got to know about him and Snape, then things couldn't get much worse.

"Yeah..." he said at last, hesitatingly. Bixley grinned.

"I don't think so," he said in a threatening voice. "No, we don't believe that, do we, lads?" The others shook their heads, all of them looking just as stupid and evil as Bixley.

"You have no power over me," Draco said. They laughed at him. Oh, it was so embarrassing, they were three years younger than him after all... All of a sudden, everybody went quiet. Draco looked up to the teachers' table, where Dumbledore had got up from his chair.

"I have an announcement to make," the headmaster said in his soft voice. "As I believe you know already, our Potions master, Professor Snape, has handed in his resignation..."

The joint, cheering roar that filled the Hall was even louder than the one that had been heard after Gryffindor won the House Cup instead of Slytherin in Draco's first year. He had never felt as unhappy as he did now.

"Silence!" Dumbledore shouted. "I hope that you all realise that I will of course not let Severus Snape leave permanently, if there is anything I can do to prevent it." Some people booed, but most of the students just looked at Dumbledore as if he had told them that Christmas was cancelled.

"However, it seems that recent events makes this the best temporary solution. Professor Snape will be back, be sure of that" – he glanced at Draco – "but until then you will have a substitute teacher in Potions. I don't know who yet, but I promise you that we will find somebody very soon." Draco didn't find Dumbledore's words very reassuring. He was just reaching out to grab a sandwich, when he heard somebody whisper in his ear. Bixley.

"I'm going up to the Owlery, Malfoy. Do you want me to tell daddy anything?"

Before Draco even had time to react, Bixley was gone.


	18. In the Owlery

**A/N: Thanks to all reviewers! Right now, I'm a bit shocked because I read the hottest malfoycest ever this morning, I want to read it again but I think my brain will explode if I do... (yes, I'm being serious...) omg, I totally wish I could write sex scenes like that. And another thing I would like to be better at, is writing fighting scenes! There would have been one in this chapter, if I had only been able to write it...**

**_Chapter VIII: In the owlery_**

"Stop, Bixley, you fucking idiot!" Draco gasped for breath and saw how the third-year got a few more steps ahead of him in the stairs. Everywhere, the Hogwarts ghosts flew out of the way of them, then stared after them, shaking their heads. In the paintings, people were talking as usual. Eric Bixley was heading for the Owlery, on his way to ruin Draco's life... and Draco was going to stop him if he was able to.

"Where's your loyalty to Slytherin?" he shouted to the running boy in front of him. Bixley turned around, but was still moving.

"It's right here, Malfoy," he said, with a vague gesture at his heart, "but people like you don't belong in Slytherin!" Draco understood, of course, what Bixley meant, but didn't care about it. He himself, and Snape, were both Slytherin personified. Morons like Bixley, who according to the rumours had, in McGonagall's class, turned a pumpkin into a sweet little princess doll, when he was _supposed _to turn it into a very nasty-looking goblin figure, would never be seen as typical Slytherins if they weren't dressed in school uniforms with ties in green and silver. Draco knew that he, as a Malfoy, was much more Slytherin than anyone else.

"Okay, how about I give you ten Galleons..." he shouted. Bixley laughed in a very mean way.

"Think you can bribe me, Malfoy? Well, think again, cause I don't want money from people like you!" Draco heard the bitterness in the other boy's voice, and realised that it was there because of all the times Draco had been mean to him because Bixley's family wasn't as wealthy as many others. If he could just have shut up about that... Then, they could have made an agreement about a certain amount of money, and things could have gone back to being a little less miserable. But as it was, Bixley would never accept Draco's money, no matter what...

"I'll jinx you!" he said, desperately – then, he remembered that his wand was locked up in his trunk under the four-poster bed. Why today, when he used to have it with him all the time? Bixley, who of course didn't know this, still didn't care about Draco's threats. He had reached the Owlery.

As Draco got up there, a few minutes later, he saw Eric Bixley being very busy writing a short message on a piece of parchment. The eyes in the third-year's face glowed fanatically, and his mouth was open.

"Please..." Draco whispered. "Hey, Bixley... Don't do it. You don't understand... no matter how much you hate me, this is going too far! What goes around comes around, you know!"

Bixley laughed scornfully.

"I don't think so, Malfoy. I want to see you being thrown out of Hogwarts, humiliated, destroyed. I want to ruin your life. Don't you get it? I've always loathed you... Always known what you are. This is my chance to really, really hurt you." He concentrated on his letter again. Draco attacked him without thinking first, managed to take the quill from him and tried to get him on his back. But before he had had time to beat Bixley unconscious, the other boy pulled out his wand and shouted:

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" Draco felt his body stiffen and fall to the ground. He fell on his back, and was close to panic when he realised that he could neither talk nor move. He could do nothing but watch... watch, unable to do anything, as Bixley signed the letter and held it in front of Draco's face.

"What do you think?" he grinned. Draco felt as if he was about to cry.

"Mr Malfoy!

It is my sad duty to tell you that your son, Draco, has done something absolutely detestable. He has during some time had a forbidden relationship with his own Head of House, Severus Snape, and has also been detected in a very intimate situation with the Potions master. The girl who saw them together is still in shock. Professor Snape has left the school to avoid the scandal, but when it comes to your son, I am sure that you know best what to do. Draco also claims that he "loves" Professor Snape.

Sincerely,

Eric Bixley (Slytherin)"

With his heart trembling with fear and sorrow, Draco saw how Bixley rolled up the parchment and called for an owl. He put the roll of parchment next to the owl's leg, then whispered something into its ear. The owl flew away, with the letter to Lucius Malfoy, and Draco could do nothing about it. Bixley turned to him and suddenly, their faces were very close.

"I hope he kills you," Bixley said in a low, threatening voice. "If there's anything I hate more than disgustingly rich people... then it's disgusting, fucking queers who..." He spat right into Draco's face, and kicked him hard in the chest. When Draco dared to open his eyes again, Bixley was gone.

"Oh, Draco, Draco..." He was helped to get up on his feet again, stars were dancing in front of his eyes. Shelley's thin arms were holding him, and the beautiful boy almost cried when their eyes met.

"What has happened... Who did this to you?" Draco coughed.

"Don't care about it," he whispered in a friendly voice. Shelley led him to the table, where he sat down. Draco was moved and grateful, that there was still someone who cared about him (even though he had ignored Shelley for so long!), but instinctively, he knew that he could never give the Ravenclaw boy what he really wanted.

"Could you give me a piece of parchment...?" he said, his voice a bit hoarse. Shelley nodded, and went to one of the shelves by the door, returning almost immediately with parchment, ink and a quill. Draco started to write.

"Bixley has sent a letter to my father. It's all in there. I have to get out of here... I have to leave Hogwarts. Let me know where you are! Send me an owl as soon as you can, but not to Hogwarts; just to me. I miss you so much and I have to see you soon again. Can't stop thinking about you.

Draco"

He made a roll of the parchment and called for his own, faithful owl.

"Fly to Snape," he whispered, "fly as fast as you can!" And when the large owl finally spread its wings and disappeared into the sunlight, he actually dared to smile a little.

But Shelley, who had been standing behind him reading the letter, had tears in his huge, dark eyes.

**A/N: Sorry for letting Draco be humiliated by a thirteen-year-old... But it had to be that way. **


	19. Forbidden fruit

_**Chapter IX: Forbidden fruit**_

The Howler fell down like a nasty little monster on the table in front of him, the next day at breakfast. It was followed by another letter – Draco knew where both of them came from, and he was so nervous he hardly dared to pick them up.

"Oh..." he heard Pansy Parkinson whisper, as if she had finally realised that she had gone too far. As usual, all the slytherins were staring at him – what would he do, would he mention Snape, if he said anything at all, would they be lucky enough to see Malfoy, the Prefect, burst into tears? Bixley grinned just like the rest of his stupid friends. Blaise Zabinis dark eyes were absolutely inscrutable, in sharp contrast to the dismay that was to be read in the faces of Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

"This will be fun, lads," Eric Bixley said in his cold voice. Draco didn't wait around to listen to what the others thought. He hurried, all of a sudden, out of the hall, ignoring all the people staring at him, and he didn't stop until he reached an empty classroom. There, he opened the Howler, with his heart thumping madly in his chest and the worst of premonitions. The monster had been set on the loose.

"After everything I have done for you..." His father's low, threatening voice filled the room. "How dare you do this to me? I had great plans for you, Draco... Very great plans. But if you wish to ruin your chances by being another man's toy" – he spat the word out – "then you can think of yourself as an orphan – and a disinherited one – from now on. I will not tolerate such shameful behaviour from you! You are a Malfoy – how can you claim something so ridiculous as "loving" Professor Snape! Draco, I have great influence at Hogwarts, a great influence in the entire Wizard Community in fact – if I were you, I would advice Severus Snape to flee as far from England as possible before I find him. There are no ways out of this. I will not allow my son to live like that! I will arrive to Hogwarts by lunch and I hope that you are prepared by then to beg for forgiveness and be punished. When it comes to Professor Snape..." A barely audible, nasty laughter seemed to crawl on Draco's skin, made him shudder. The Howler tore itself apart in front of his eyes.

With shaking hands, Draco picked up the other letter. A small piece of parchment... He smiled with a deep sigh of relief.

"Draco! Come to the Forbidden Forest. At once. I have something important to tell you."

He could hardly have been more disappointed. Of course he recognised the correct, stern handwriting of his Potions Master – but why did Snape have to be so annoyingly formal? Draco swallowed the tears and put the piece of parchment in his pocket. After that, he left the room.

Luckily, he managed to get out of the castle without being seen. His father would arrive in a couple of hours, and by then, they would have to be on their way... off to something else, something new and much better.

Draco's fear of the forest had never really ceased to exist. The huge, silent trees made him feel terribly small, and the mere thought of all the strange creatures living there... Why did they have to meet here of all places? He understood, of course, that it was the safest place, and he knew he was acting really stupid, being so scared, but he couldn't help it. As he now stumbled over the roots and the stones, scared of both the things behind him and the things all around him, he wondered how far he would have to go. The forest was huge. Snape could be anywhere.

"Finally." He stopped. It was Snape's voice – low, whispering, with a tint of sarcasm as always – and after a moment, Draco saw him. The dark-clad man was standing almost in front of him, hidden in the shadows, watching him.

"Professor Snape!" Draco exclaimed, hurrying up to him.

"I've missed you so much..." he whispered, kissing Snape carefully. Snape put his arms around him – but not like he used to. It felt as if he did it just because he had to, and Draco knew something was wrong.

"Where have you been?" he asked, trying to read Snape's face. It failed.

"London," Snape said shortly. Draco didn't dare to ask, but did it anyway:

"Why London?" Snape looked at him. His hands caressed Draco's back, hesitatingly, as if they didn't know exactly what they did. And suddenly, Snape pushed Draco away, gently, and his eyes were cold when they met Draco's.

"I needed ingredients, Draco," he said. Draco stared at him.

"Ingredients? Professor, has anything happened? Why..." He didn't know what he wanted to ask. Why did Snape refuse to touch him? Something was so very wrong...

"Listen to me," Snape said. "This has gone way too far. What we have, is a dangerous relationship in every way. Draco, no law allows a man my age to love a child, which is what you are. I have used you..."

"No!" Draco exclaimed, tears in his eyes. Snape ignored him.

"This entire...affair, has to be unmade in every aspect. Do you understand me? Therefore, Draco, I have created a potion that is commonly referred to as the Passion Killer." Draco felt the tears fall down his cheeks... his throat... Suddenly, he felt as if he couldn't breathe. A passion-killing potion... meant...

"Don't you love me anymore?" he whispered. Snape broke their eye contact immediately.

"Stop it," he said. "It's not about that. Don't you hear what I'm saying, what we're doing is absolutely criminal." From his pocket, he took up a small bottle.

"Professor Snape, " Draco sobbed. "I love you, I will always... I'm willing to follow you anywhere... As long as I can be by your side forever. How could I give up my only love?" He saw something sparkle in Snape's eyes – tears? But the Potions Master said nothing, just handed Draco the bottle.

"No..." Draco whispered. "I can't..."

"Do it, or I'll do it first," Snape said coldly. Draco made up his mind. He took the bottle, turned around – and pretended to drink from it. What he really did, was pouring some of the potion in his hand, which he then held behind his back until every single drop of potion had slipped between his fingers and down on the ground.

"There, that was that," he said, pretending that the potion had worked already. Snape nodded and took the bottle. Draco saw him swallow what was left in it. He realised, strangely enough, that he was just experiencing the most dreadful moment in his life.

"Does it work?" he said, looking at Snape. But he didn't have to ask. As Snape's dark eyes focused on him, Draco saw what he had feared. The love Snape had felt for him was dead. Gone. It was as if it had never even been there at all.

"It is over now," Snape said calmly, and Draco couldn't have agreed more. He saw the object of his desire walk towards the school and followed him, crying softly as soon as he knew Snape couldn't hear him anymore.

**A/N: Reviews are, as always, much appreciated... :) **


	20. Friends

**A/N: This was written before HBP. That's why Blaise is a bit different from how JKR describes him...**

_**Chapter X: Friends**_

It wasn't until he reached the main entrance, that Draco realised Snape was nowhere to be seen. Draco had been just a few steps behind him, almost blinded by tears, and it seemed Snape hadn't even bothered to turn around and see if he was still there. No feelings at all... Like it used to be, but it was so much worse now. Because now, Draco knew that Snape was more than just the cynical teacher everybody hated. And he also knew that Snape's love for him had been killed by a horrible potion... Draco bit his lip, tried not to let his feelings out. He didn't know what time it was, but guessed it was only one or two hours before his father would show up, take him home and punish him in every possible way. Snape... well, if Draco knew his father – and he did – Lucius would execute Snape in the middle of the Quidditch Pitch and force Draco to watch. Something like that. There was no chance to escape anymore, and now that Snape had forgotten how much he had loved Draco, escaping was of course useless. Draco sighed, walking into the Castle.

"Oh, Draco, we have been so worried about you!" He looked up. In front of him was Pansy, and behind her, Blaise. Draco didn't understand, and he even got more puzzled when they grabbed his arms and made him run up one of the stairs. On the second floor, they rushed into a small, hidden room. Pansy shut the door and they all sat down on the cold stone floor. The room was window-less, with no furniture except for some empty book-shelves towering over them.

"What...?" Draco began. Pansy hushed, then nodded, saying:

"Sorry for attacking you downstairs, but we had to." Blaise nodded, looking very serious.

"Had to?" Draco asked. Pansy moved a little closer, saying in a low voice:

"Draco, your father is here at Hogwarts."

"Already!" Draco gasped, feeling very cold and very warm at the same time. What if Lucius had seen Snape...

"He arrived just a moment ago, looking completely furious. We happened to see him in the corridor – he was on his way to Dumbledore's office." Blaise, who hadn't said anything yet, sat down closer to Draco and looked at him with friendly eyes. Draco had never managed to become friends with the mystical, raven-haired boy, who had a talent for hiding and sort of disappearing in a crowd whenever he wanted to. Seeing him here was as surprising as it would have been to see Goyle being chosen to play Seeker for the Slytherin Team.

"Do you love Professor Snape?" Blaise said in a voice that showed serious interest. Draco wiped away a single, stupid tear.

"Yes," he said in a voice that was barely a whisper. "But... he doesn't love me anymore." Pansy raised her dark eyebrows.

"What do you mean," she exclaimed, "why not?"

"There is a potion that kills passion... He drank of it. He thinks I did too... but I just pretended." Blaise caressed his hand, absent-mindedly.

"Professor Snape could have pretended too," he said in a soft voice. "If you could do it, then why not him?" Pansy nodded. Draco saw that there were tears in her eyes as well.

"Can you forgive me for... for telling McGonagall? Oh, I don't even know why I did it... I was so jealous! But when I think of it now... the two of you were quite cute together." She smiled, blushing a little.

"I forgive you," Draco said, feeling rather happy all of a sudden. "But... Oh, what will happen if Snape... if he meets my father? I can't let it happen!" Panic spread itself inside his body. It was as if something had covered his mouth and nose, he couldn't breath. But just as he thought he was going to die, he felt somebody pull him close. Blaise. Pansy smiled encouragingly at him, but none of them said anything. Draco felt, for the first time in a very long time, that he had real friends.

"No, I have to sort this out – now," he said after a short moment. The others nodded and Blaise let go of him.

"What will you do, Draco?" Pansy asked. He shrugged, but was so nervous he thought he might faint.

"I don't know yet. But first, I have to find my father."

**A/N: Draco is such a drama queen. But I like him that way.**


	21. A new acquaintance

_**Chapter XI: A "new" acquaintance**_

Pansy watched him as if he was a piece of antique furniture and she was going to put a price on him. He suddenly realized how grown up she seemed, while he himself felt like a little child – she had lately began to use make-up that made her look like an elegant woman from the 1920's; red lipstick, black mascara and eyeliner. When had this radical change happened? During all the time she and him had been together, Pansy had been a childish, ordinary-looking girl who couldn't stop clinging on to him. Now, it was impossible to imagine her begging for a man's love or starting to cry without a reason. He didn't dare to ask her if anything had happened – the second he turned away to avoid her eyes, he understood. It all had to do with him – and Snape. He wasn't sure why, or how, but he knew that was it. When he looked up again, Pansy sighed theatrically and exclaimed:

"Draco, please, what are you waiting for? We have to hurry!" He nodded.

"I know," he said. Blaise smiled at him.

"Don't worry," he said. "Everything will be fine."

They went down the stairs, in total silence like agents on a dangerous commission. The school seemed quiet and deserted - most people probably had classes. So did they – all the other Slytherin sixth-years were now in Flitwick's classroom, but neither Draco nor the others had time to think about all the points Slytherin would lose because of them. Draco's life was much more important than winning the House Cup.

Many times, they had to change their way or hide when obstacles emerged, Peeves being only one of them. And when they finally reached the hidden stairs up to Dumbledore's office, they realized that they didn't really know what to do there – Of course, both Draco and Pansy knew the Password, being Prefects, but what would happen if Lucius was there?

"I don't think we should..." Draco mumbled, feeling as awkward and scared as he always did when he knew he might have to face his father. Pansy shook her head.

"Draco, Draco..." she said. "What do you think would happen if he's there? He wouldn't kill you in front of Dumbledore, now would he?" Draco sighed.

"I know, but it's not..." He didn't want to say more.

"Okay, let's do it like this," Pansy said. She obviously liked being in charge, and none of the others wanted to switch places with her.

"You stay here – no, I think it might be best if nobody sees you – and I go up there alone." Draco stared at her.

"B-but..." She smiled.

"What? What could possibly happen? Listen, hide somewhere and wait while I go up and see if Mr Malfoy – or Snape – is there. Then, I lie and make them think I'm just a stupid little girl, and they won't suspect a thing. After that, I'll come back to you with some information." She seemed so sure about it all that Draco just nodded and followed Blaise to look for a hideaway, while Pansy uttered the password and went up the stairs.

"How about here?" Blaise looked at him, questioningly. "Or what do you think, Draco?"

"It's great," Draco said in a low voice, and they pressed their slim bodies into the very small room Blaise had found, then locked the door. It was very dark in there – it was, in fact, a broom closet and nothing more. When they sat down on the floor, Draco felt Blaise's body close to his, and he was glad they could hardly see each other's faces.

"What will you do when you meet Professor Snape again?" Blaise asked, painfully close. Draco realized he hadn't been thinking about Snape at all for a long time, and gasped. What was happening to him?

"Er..." he said stupidly. "I don't know. But he won't ever see me as more than a student again, and that... No, actually, I don't know." He could hear Blaise's low, soft laughter. It felt like a caressing hand.

"Okay," Blaise said after a moment. "It must be terrible for you, all of this."

"Yeah," Draco said, although nothing felt terrible right now – "it's pretty hard, going through this, you know." As if in a dream, he felt Blaise putting his thin arm around him, and confused as he was, Draco turned to the raven-haired boy and let his fingertips stroke his neck.

"It's _very _hard," he mumbled, but the words drowned in a soft kiss and he had no thoughts of ending it. Behind them was the wall, and he leant against it until he was almost lying on the floor, Blaise on top of him.

"Why?" he whispered as Blaise's caresses grew more intense.

"Why not?" Blaise answered with a little smile, kissing him again. Draco pulled him closer, thinking about how stupid this would probably look to a person watching – the broom closet's floor was way too small for two adolescent boys, no matter how close together they were.

"Have you done this before?" Draco asked, without caring about the answer. Blaise just smiled at him. But the moment things were getting really, really pleasant, they heard somebody was at the door and had to jump to their feet and button their shirts very quickly. The door opened and Pansy looked at them. She was very pale, and they could see that she was on the verge of tears.

"Here you are," she said, her voice no more than a whisper. "You'd better come quickly."


	22. Lies

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing! In case I haven't pointed this out before, this fic was written long before HBP, which is why Blaise doesn't look like he does in the books. I like my Blaise so much better than JKR's description of him...**

_**Chapter XII: Lies**_

"Well, well, well. I was just wondering where I would find you." Draco glanced around, nervously. His father kept looking at him, completely focused, and there was no mercy in those cold, grey eyes. Lucius Malfoy was standing a few steps in front of the three slytherins in the corridor, and neither Dumbledore nor anyone else was to be seen.

"You see, Draco... I have to make sure you aren't neglecting your studies, don't I? And now" – the threatening voice hardened – "I seriously think you might have gone too far." He went up to Draco and looked into his terrified eyes. Then, before any of them had time to react, Lucius grabbed Blaise's arm and eyed the boy disapprovingly.

"This must be... the new one," he said. Draco saw how his father let his fingers stroke Blaise's cheek, and how Blaise became very pale.

"Mr Zabini, I believe? Oh, yes, I remember it all now... You hear so many strange things these days, Mr Zabini... About your dear _mother _in particular..." He leant down to whisper something in Blaise's ear, and Blaise looked so humiliated Draco could barely stand to watch it.

"It's not true..." Blaise whispered. "She never... never..." Lucius smiled nastily, then turned to Draco again.

"Think, Draco, about all the power I have... Over _everybody_. Scary, don't you think? Yes... I actually think I will have to send Mrs Zabini a letter... Let me see, what shall I write? 'Dear Madam, unfortunately the school has decided to expulse your son, who has been too busy seducing other boys to attend classes and fulfil his duties as a Hogwarts student. Oh, and while I'm writing, I have to say that I sincerely hope you are at least decent enough not to attack your own children. It would look rather suspicious if they were walking around with bite-marks everywhere, don't you think? And of course, I believe it would get quite tedious after a while, drinking... _your own blood_?" He laughed.

"Mrs Zabini... is a vampire," he told Draco and Pansy. Blaise made a whimpering sound, and tears began to fill his dark eyes. Draco felt how much he hated his father.

"Blaise has nothing to do with this," he said loudly. "Let him go!" Lucius raised his eyebrows.

"I would advice you to get rid of that attitude immediately, Draco," he said. "Don't forget the fact that I haven't punished you yet – or, for that matter, Professor Snape."

"_Professor Snape_, Sir?" Pansy stepped forward, looking at Lucius with faked astonishment. "Do you really m... But oh, my _God_, you can't mean that you... that you believe..." She started to giggle. Lucius gave her an irritated look, but his grip around Blaise's arm had loosened almost completely.

"What are you talking about, Miss Parkinson? I got the information from a young and very reliable Slytherin student..."

"Oh, Mr Malfoy..." Pansy smiled in an almost pitiful way. "I'm afraid you have been given _false _information from the number one chatterbox here at Hogwarts. He just can't stop talking, Eric Bixley, and once he's heard a story, he just has to tell it to somebody even if he knows it's all lies. And you know, he hasn't got much money, so he's very envious of Draco, naturally." Lucius finally let go of Blaise, who sat down by the wall, crying soundlessly without looking at Draco and the other two. Draco wanted to comfort him, but knew that nothing could be more stupid than that. At the same time, Pansy fought the battle against Lucius on her own. Pansy came up with one excellent lie after the other, and his father swallowed them all, however with great suspicion.

"Why would a student say something like that about one of the professors?" Lucius asked. "Wouldn't that be... completely idiotic?"

"Bixley is an idiot," Pansy said in a light voice. And _that _was not a lie.

"But according to the boy, there were proof – a girl had seen Professor Snape molesting my son!" Pansy smiled secretively.

"Oh! You know what, I think Bixley might have meant...me. Of course," she continued as Lucius opened his eyes wide, "because the thing is I was just knocking on the door to the Potions Classroom to ask Professor Snape about the homework. And when I opened the door..."

"Yes?" If Pansy had looked into Lucius' face at that moment, she would have had trouble keeping so calm. The blond man looked as he was about to kill, and his eyes were gleaming.

"When I opened, Snape and Draco were standing by the desk. At first, it looked a bit _suspicious_, if you know what I mean, and I got so shocked I forgot what I had come to ask Snape about. Then I saw, of course, that Snape was giving Draco the antidote for a potion we had been making during class. And the whole reason Bixley got it all the wrong way was that I told some of the girls the next day... I just said to them that it was so silly how I could believe the two of them were doing something like _that_... Bixley overheard me saying it, and I suppose he's got quite a vivid imagination... that's all." She smiled shyly.

"Shall I believe Miss Parkinson, Draco?" His father looked straight at him.

"Pansy's telling the truth," Draco said, wishing he'd have been brave enough to stand up to his father on his own. But the thought of being alone with his father scared him worse than anything else.

"I would never..." he continued. "I could never do anything like... You know I couldn't!"

"Perhaps," Lucius whispered. "Perhaps..." He backed away a little, smiling ambiguously.

"I have talked to Dumbledore about your punishment, Draco," he then said in a louder voice. "However, it does seem that you haven't deserved to be punished at all. Maybe I should allow you to stay at Hogwarts? Well... yes, I really do think that..." Pansy stroke Draco's hand, reassuringly, but he knew he wasn't safe until his Father was back at Malfoy Manor again.

"Draco..." Blaise whispered, suddenly and in an alarming tone. Draco looked up – and felt his heart take a leap. Towards them came no one else than Snape. Lucius, who had also turned around when he had seen Draco's terrified expression, laughed shortly.

"Well," he said in a low voice. "How very appropriate. Now I might get to hear the _entire _story?"

**A/N: Wieeeeee, Lucius! Me loves him!**


	23. Snape

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so happy there are people who like this story!**

_**Chapter XIII: Snape**_

Professor Snape stopped just a few steps away from them, nodding shortly in Lucius' direction.

"Mr Malfoy," he said, looking straight into the blond Death Eater's eyes. Draco felt how hard his heart thumped, and was afraid his father might hear it. Pansy's lies had helped a lot – but clearly, Lucius was still suspicious.

"Snape," he said in a low voice. "_Exactly _the person I wished to talk to."

"Really?" Snape replied. His dark, whispering voice made Draco tremble as if he had had an electric shock. He realized, that he finally knew... knew what he wanted, how he felt. Beautiful, sensitive Shelley was in love with him. Blaise, apparently, wouldn't mind being his boyfriend. But it was Snape, who could make Draco's heart dance and cry and break into a thousand pieces. Sure, the mere thought of Shelley's slender body was thrilling, and Draco couldn't help regretting him and Blaise hadn't had a little more time together in the broom cupboard – but now, seeing Snape again, he knew what he had never really doubted. As much now as ever, he was ready to sacrifice himself for Snape. It was love and nothing else. He was entirely sure.

"Oh, how shall I say this..." Lucius said in his usual ingratiating way. Draco tried to catch Snape's eye – but as soon as he thought he would succeed, Snape quickly focused on Lucius. Why? Snape no longer felt anything for him. Draco didn't know how the Passion Killer worked, but he guessed it simply killed the love, but not the memories of it. And if that was the case, then Snape really had a reason to avoid looking at him. The hope sank inside him like a stone. If only Snape had acted like that because of something else, something unpredictable...

"You may have the honour, Miss Parkinson," Lucius mumbled and gave Pansy a threatening look. She blushed, but didn't dare to disobey him. Snape looked thoroughly at her.

"Mr Malfoy believes that you have had a sexual relationship with Draco," she said rather loudly, clearly wishing to get it over with as quickly as possible. The look of dismay on Snape's face was indescribable. Draco leant against the wall, since he was afraid he might faint if he didn't. He had never even been able to imagine situations half as horrible and humiliating as this. Blaise, still on the floor, watched him with wide, beautiful eyes. Pansy gave him a comforting look, and his father glanced at him furtively as if he was waiting for the moment when Draco would fall to his knees and confess everything. But Snape refused to look at him, and Snape was the only one Draco really cared about right now.

"What are you insinuating...?" Snape said, staring at Lucius. Draco's father gave him a very arrogant look.

"I have received information saying you have taken advantage of your position here at Hogwarts, in order to seduce my son," he said. "However, according to Miss Parkinson, this is not at all true. What do you have to say in your defence?" Snape was silent for a moment, then said:

"I have never heard anything more ridiculous! Mr Malfoy, you of all people should know I would never do anything like that. I am a teacher with great responsibility, and besides, I have never had any interest in adolescent boys – which I hope you understand." Lucius smiled a bit nervously at the sharp tone in Snape's voice. Draco, on the contrary, dug his nails deep into his palms to try and focus on a pain much more easy to stand than the one filling his soul after Snape's words. Everything would be ruined if he started to cry...

"Very well," Lucius said with an elegant gesture. "I suppose I ought to believe you. I really don't know why you would be interested in my son – in any _funny _way, I mean – and I hope you will forgive me for this little misunderstanding. Draco" – he turned quickly to his son – "I _never _want to hear of any more embarrassing stories like this one, ever again. You have to understand" – he moved as close to Draco as possible, stroking his cheek softly – "that it can harm the family reputation." Draco nodded, so scared he wasn't able to talk. Lucius went over to Snape, smiling apologetically.

"Young people can have very strange fantasies, Professor Snape," he said in a voice that was a bit secretive. "I do hope you won't judge Draco too hard because of this..." He turned to Draco again.

"I'm going back to the Manor," he said in a businesslike way. "Don't give me a reason to come back here and sort things out for you – this has been _very _embarrassing, I hope you understand that." He nodded in Snape's direction, then left them, looking as if he was in a great hurry.

"I'd better head back to class..." Pansy mumbled, leaving even faster than Lucius had. Blaise got up from the floor, looking at Draco with sad eyes.

"Me too," he said, following Pansy. Draco wanted to disappear, and he wished, not for the first time, that it had been possible to Apparate inside Hogwarts... Left in the corridor was now only himself – and Snape.


	24. Eromenos

_**Chapter XIV: Eromenos**_

They were silent for over a minute. Draco felt dizzy and confused – no matter what Snape would say or do; this could be nothing but terrible. The walls of the corridor were dark and solid, there were no portraits and hence no painted men or ladies who could comment what they saw and break the silence. Snape coughed a little to get Draco's attention, and Draco looked at him, his cheeks burning with embarrassment and desire.

"Malfoy... This could have ended in a very different way. I hope that you are aware of that?" Draco nodded five times, far too eagerly.

"Of course... Professor," he mumbled.

"Good," Snape said, continuing: "I understood that Miss Parkinson saved you this time?"

"Yeah," Draco said in a low voice. "I guess she did." He felt more miserable than ever. Snape was so cold, so... unapproachable. It was all just how it had used to be before, when they were just a teacher and a student. Nothing could possibly be worse than this – watching your loved one treating you like anybody, when a few days earlier, the two of you had been... been...

"A secluded room," Snape said suddenly in his whispering voice, looking straight into Draco's grey eyes. Draco raised his eyebrows.

"What?" he asked, feeling stupid. Snape sighed impatiently and hurried towards a door – luckily, not the one Blaise and Draco had chosen earlier.

"Come here!" he said. Draco obeyed him immediately and went inside. Snape closed the door and locked it.

"There were some other things," he said. His voice was harder than Draco had ever heard it before.

"You like Miss Parkinson a lot, don't you," Snape said, giving Draco a dark look. Draco didn't understand.

"What do you mean, Professor? I..." Why would Snape be interested in Draco's eventual feelings for Pansy? Draco felt desire spread itself throughout his body, all the memories returned to him now, seeing Snape's incredibly black eyes, as mysterious as ever. He wanted to cuddle up in the elder man's arms, let Snape do whatever he wished to do to him. But it was all over now. He had to forget about Snape.

"You know what I'm talking about, Malfoy," Snape said, moving closer. "Tell me" – he hesitated – "what do you remember?"

Draco suddenly realised why Snape was acting strange. Snape believed Draco had drunk of the potion – and Draco believed Snape had!

"I saw you drink it all up," he said in a low voice. "I know you did..." Snape nodded.

"I drank it," he said. "And I thought it had worked perfectly... until I saw you again." Draco felt as if his head was spinning around, very fast. Perhaps everything wasn't over after all...?

"But how could _you _fail making a potion? You are... you are an expert!" Snape blushed slightly, looking down at his shoes.

"I suppose all killing potions are neutralized by tears," he muttered. Draco smiled.

"So then you... you still like me?" he asked, nervously. Snape looked at him.

"Like you? _Like _you! God, Draco..." He pulled Draco close, suddenly, kissing his forehead.

"Draco... If you just knew... I love you so much. Now more than ever." Draco couldn't keep himself from crying anymore.

"I love you too," he said, and their lips met in a desperate, passionate kiss. But almost instantly, Snape pushed Draco away, saying:

"And here we are, back in square one, and nothing has changed. We have to hide from everybody and make sure nobody realises what we're doing. Which" – he caressed the tears away from Draco's face – "will be very hard. Especially since everybody at the school already knows everything about us."

**A/N: Aww, they're so cute... and Snape when he "coughed a little to get Draco's attention" – I'm totally in love with that line... Anyway, please review if you liked it, I know it's a very short chapter but... **


	25. Eresteis

**Chapter XV: Eresteis**

Once again, they were standing in front of Dumbledore in the Headmaster's cosy office.

"Severus?" Dumbledore said, questioningly, putting an old book back on the shelf where it belonged. Snape squeezed Draco's hand quickly, but let go of it before Dumbledore had seen anything.

"Headmaster," he said in a voice that showed how much he admired Dumbledore, "you have to do something." Dumbledore raised his white, bushy eyebrows, then smiled reassuringly at Draco.

"Excuse me, Severus, would you mind taking things in the right order?" he asked kindly. "What exactly has happened?"

"I love Draco just as much as before and I cannot live without him," Snape said without breathing. "But as you very well know, the entire school knows about this and the results may be serious." Dumbledore nodded, clearly thinking through everything Snape had said.

"You are absolutely right," he said, one hand stroking over his long white beard. "Both you and young Draco could be in great danger." Draco swallowed. Suddenly, he felt very, very small.

"There has to be a way to stop it from happening," Snape said in a serious voice, sounding a bit in earnest.

"I can see where you're going, Severus," Dumbledore smiled, "You are thinking about a massive Memory Charm, aren't you?" Snape nodded shortly, and Dumbledore chuckled.

"Erm... yes... That isn't the easiest thing to do, of course."

"Dumbledore, you are the world's greatest wizard!" Snape exclaimed impatiently. Dumbledore peered at them with his kind blue eyes.

"I wouldn't know anything about that," he said. "But we have to try, of course we do."

Both men suddenly turned to Draco, looking at him.

"Is there anyone who... shouldn't be memory charmed?" Dumbledore asked finally. Draco thought about it for a while.

"Yes," he said. "Pansy Parkinson. And..." – he hesitated for a few seconds, wondering what he was doing – "and Blaise Zabini."

A moment later, Dumbledore had left them alone in the office to go and try to save them from the possible danger they were in. Draco had never fully realised before what a great wizard Dumbledore really was, and he didn't really dare to believe that the Memory Charm would work on so many people at once. Snape was sitting on the second step of the stairs in the middle of the room, leaning back, watching Draco.

"You are so beautiful," he said. At once, Draco became very aware of all his movements and every single part of his body. He smiled, happy about the compliment.

"Thank you..." he mumbled, so shy he blushed. Snape laughed in a low voice.

"Come here," he whispered, stretching his hand out. Draco looked from the door to Snape and then back at the door again.

"But..." He wondered if they could expect any more help from Dumbledore if he found them just like Filch and Pansy had some days earlier. Probably not. Besides, the room was filled with portraits of old Headmasters and Headmistresses, the phoenix Fawkes was in the other end of the room, and there was the Sorting Hat too, lying on a dusty shelf. They were in the wrong place and at the wrong time. They simply _couldn't_.

"Come, Draco.," Snape said, even more persuadingly. Draco bit his lip.

"We aren't allowed, Professor Snape," he said quietly. Snape sighed.

"I know," he mumbled. "But I've been longing for you... for so long..." Draco went up to him and put his arms around him, softly.

"I've been walking around here for six years, thinking you didn't have any feelings at all..." Snape smiled.

"I suppose I haven't had any. Not until you woke them up." What would have become a kiss was interrupted when the door opened. Dumbledore came in, looking tired but still smiling as happily as ever.

"It appears to have worked perfectly," he said encouragingly. "Now, there are only five people here who know about this; the three of us, plus Mr Zabini and Miss Parkinson. And it isn't dangerous... that they know?" He looked at Draco, who shook his head.

"Not at all," he said, feeling overwhelmed with happiness at the thought of his friends. Dumbledore smiled as if this was the best day of his life.

"Excellent," he said, putting his hands together as if starting a round of applause. "Fantastic!" Snape got to his feet, pulling his black cloak closer around him.

"Dare I... we... leave this room now?" he asked Dumbledore.

"You have to decide for yourselves," the Headmaster said.

"Draco?" Snape looked at him.

"I... I think I dare to leave," he said, smiling a little. Snape nodded.

"Very well, then."

But they didn't have time to do as much as take one step towards the door, until a nasal, angry voice reached them from the other side of the door.

"Where is my son! I have travelled all the way from Milan..." The door flung open and a blonde, elegant woman in a violet robe rushed in. Behind her, they saw McGonagall disappearing, a very anxious expression on her face.

"Draco!" Narcissa Malfoy cried, pulling him close to her in a hard embrace. "What am I being told! I went... straight home... My sweet, darling boy..." She turned to Snape. The gaze in her blue eyes was murderous.

"And... you..." She put her arms around Draco, as if to protect him from the Potions Master.

"How dare you... molest my son! I have always known you were like that, of course, even while we were at Hogwarts I knew..."

"Narcissa," Dumbledore interrupted with his calm voice. "Nothing has happened between Severus and Draco. It's all a mistake." Narcissa laughed hysterically – she sounded like a magpie.

"Don't think you can fool me, Dumbledore!" Draco hated her. _God_, how he hated her!

"Narcissa... Your husband was here earlier today to see for himself if there was any truth behind the things he had heard. He found that there wasn't, that it was all just a made-up story created by a Third-year with a very vivid imagination and feelings of envy towards Draco. I think you will come to the same conclusion." Narcissa smiled.

"I hardly think so, Dumbledore..." She turned to Snape again. "You may be able to fool that good-for-nothing husband of mine, but me – never! Don't you think I can't see how you... how you look at my Draco... It's revolting! Besides" – her smile became twisted – "I believe my sources of information are a bit more reliable than Lucius'. This time, Severus... This time, you won't be able to get out of this!"


	26. Narcissism

_**Chapter XVI: Narcissism**_

Dumbledore held up his hand to try and stop her anger.

"Listen to me, Narcissa," he said, his voice a little bit sharper than before, "Severus is Draco's Head of House and nothing more." Draco could see that the old wizard was getting tired of lying so that he and Snape could live happily ever after. His mother laughed, pulling out a small roll of parchment from a pocket in her robe.

"Here is the evidence proving you wrong, Dumbledore," she said, rolling the parchment out. It was filled with a small handwriting, barely readable and with many spelling mistakes. Dumbledore took it from her and started to read, muttering a few of the words to himself:

"...always been such a nice girl, Narcissa... thought you ought to know... your son, Draco... saw him and Professor Snape... very indecent... disgusting..." The white-bearded Headmaster looked up, his spectacles almost falling off the tip of his nose.

"_Filch_," he said loudly. Narcissa nodded, looking very pleased with herself. Snape, on the other hand, looked as if he could explode with anger, and Draco didn't know what to feel. So, Filch had gone and told somebody about them anyway...

"I will send you to Azkaban if it's the last thing I ever do," Narcissa hissed at Snape, who didn't answer. Suddenly, Draco had an idea. He could do what he had always done when he was little – make his parents do what he wanted them to, by telling them the other parent hadn't let him get what he wished for.

"Mother," he said, looking at her as if he truly worshipped her, "why aren't you on my side?" Narcissa stared at him, stroking a well-manicured hand over her hair.

"What are you talking about, darling?" He smiled, feeling like a shrewd eight-year-old.

"Daddy is against me already. He doesn't understand that I love Professor Snape and that I haven't been molested at all. Don't you understand me, Mother?" His mother seemed very anxious.

"But Draco... sweetheart... You can't mean that you... voluntarily..." He nodded.

"Voluntarily, Mother." Narcissa looked first at Dumbledore, then at Snape and then back at Dumbledore.

"Is he really serious?" she asked as if Draco didn't know how he felt himself. Dumbledore smiled.

"Of course Draco is serious about this, Narcissa," he said. "Perhaps it would feel better for him if he knew at least one of his parents wants him to be happy?" Narcissa smiled – Draco knew she was thinking about the sudden advantage she would have over his father in the perpetual fight for Draco's love and appreciation, if she allowed him and Snape to continue being more than friends. At last, she turned to Dumbledore, her smile broader and falser than ever.

"Of course my Draco can do whatever he likes," she said with faked, overflowing kindness. "I'll return to Italy a.s.a.p., darling," she added in Draco's direction. "You can tell your father if he shows up."

She went out of the room, and soon enough the sound of her high heels had died away. Dumbledore smiled at Draco, tipping the parchment three times with his wand so that the note with the dangerous message from the caretaker vanished completely.

"There, another obstacle out of the way," he said cheerfully, taking a biscuit from a small box upon the shelf. Draco felt, suddenly, how _expectant _he was. Snape caressed his hair.

"Come to the dungeons in ten minutes," he whispered to make sure Dumbledore couldn't hear. Draco experienced a shivering sensation upon hearing those words.

"The Potions classroom?" he asked, winking. Snape's eyes gleamed.

"No," he said in a very low voice. "_Deeper than that_."

**A/N: Yeah, I know, terribly short chapter. Sorry. The next one will be better, and there will be sex and stuff in it. **


	27. Spellbound

**A/N: Now, this contains sex between two men. And there's also a bit of... I don't know if the proper expression is bondage, I guess it's something like that...So don't like, don't read! **

_**Chapter XVII: Spellbound**_

Draco remained outside Dumbledore's office for about a quarter of an hour, before he slowly and slightly insecurely started to walk towards the dungeons. Now, the corridors were crowded with people – but none of them, not even Bixley, had any interest in Draco or where he was heading. Pansy and Blaise – he didn't want to think about why he had asked Dumbledore to exclude them from the Memory Charm. Didn't want to see how desperately he wanted to have friends. But that longing was there, and he knew it. Knew, that the two slytherins meant more to him than Crabbe and Goyle had ever done.

His body felt as if it was on fire. Weeks earlier, he had asked Snape to do whatever he wanted to him – and Snape had resisted, that time. Now, perhaps, there would be no resistance left? By the look in the teacher's eyes when they had left each other a moment earlier, Draco had realised that Snape no longer saw any obstacles that stopped him from giving in to temptation. And if Snape wanted it – then Draco did too. He smiled to himself, as he started descending towards the dungeons. So many things had happened since the last time they had had sex – all those things had made him forget how wonderful it really had been. Of course, it could only get better this time – now that he was at least a bit prepared for the pain. This time, he told himself, this time he would enjoy it.

The further down he came, the darker it got. In the winding, stony passages torches were lit along the slippery walls, and his steps echoed dully against the uneven floor. He had passed the Slytherin Common Room long ago – the deepest dungeons were rarely visited, and only by people who had lost their way. It was the perfect place for some unhealthy love magic.

"Professor Snape?" he asked, into the semi-darkness. No matter how much he tried not to think about it, Draco was scared – as scared as he was of the the Forbidden Forest. The only thing that kept him in the scary, dark passage was the thought of Snape, and the thought of what would happen... He knew he would have run for his life if Snape hadn't been here somewhere, and he was deeply ashamed because of this. The Potions Master would have been disgusted by his cowardice, had he known about it.

"Snape?" he whispered again. "Are you... you..." He was interrupted by a brutal embrace from behind and a dark voice whispering in his ear:

"I have waited too long... _Draco_." They kissed each other demandingly, their fingers gliding in a hard, unsentimental way over the other one's body.

"Do it," Draco said in a feeble voice, "do whatever you want." Snape laughed shortly, his voice barely a whisper. Draco could only see his gleaming, dangerous eyes as the dark voice said:

"Come!" It was a command, an order. A simple word, but to Draco it sounded like poetry.

He stared into the room, trying to believe what he saw. "Hogwarts is a school," he thought. "This belongs in a medieval castle!" Snape smiled in a way that most people would describe as vicious, but Draco knew it was rather to be interpreted as an excited grin. They were standing in the doorway of one of the largest cells, Draco's face whiter than ever before. In front of him were things he had only read about in books (books his father loved, of course). An iron maiden. Cages so small only children could fit inside them. An ancient fireplace in the far end of the room, and beside it pokers that appeared to be just as old. At least ten whips in different sizes. And everywhere, on the walls and in the ceiling, were rusty old handcuffs in chains. Draco thought he was going to faint.

"A torture chamber," he gasped, grabbing hold of the doorframe to keep himself from falling. Snape put his hand on Draco's back.

"Salazar Slytherin's torture chamber," he clarified. "It was forgotten after he left Hogwarts." Draco tried to breathe calmly, to get his pulse back to normal...

"Will you... Are you going to torture me?" He regretted his stupid, childish question at once. But Snape laughed softly, putting his arms around him.

"My darling boy," he said, kissing him lightly on the forehead. Then he leant down and whispered, while his hand went down even further and made Draco gasp for air:

"_Inspiration_."

* * *

Their clothes fell to the floor. Hands, skin, he breathed without getting any air. Time flied and stood still. Beside the mean-looking Iron Maiden, where Draco guessed the famous founder of his own house had put young Muggle maidens and gained great pleasure from watching their blood escape their bodies as the sharp knives inside the Maiden penetrated them, and, eventually, killed them, was a candelabra with eight arms, casting long shadows over the old room and their naked bodies. Draco put his thin arms up in the air, as if to show how helpless he was, to show that he accepted the role of the victim. Snape put his hands around Draco's wrists and forced his arms back until it hurt. Draco tilted his head back, allowing Snape to bite his neck a little. Whoever had seen them had been appalled, Draco knew that much. He, who was so young and looked so innocent, gave himself to his teacher in a medieval torture chamber. He didn't have time to think about it more, until Snape turned him around, brutally, and pressed him against the wall. Draco heard the soft click in the handcuffs as they were put around his wrists, and he closed his eyes. He hadn't been this helpless since he was a very small child. He was standing with his arms and legs spread, his body formed an X, and he stood facing the wall. Snape was behind him, kissing every inch of his slender body, close to entering him. 

"Oh, Draco..." Snape muttered uncontrollably, letting the tip of his tongue lick its way down Draco's spine. Their breathing was almost synchronised now, as if it had come from one body instead of two. When the first, terrifyingly strong orgasm came, Draco pushed his wrists so violently against the wall that blood began to trickle down his arms. Snape kissed away every single drop of blood until there were none left.

"Your blood tastes wonderful," he said, smiling mysteriously. Draco could hardly breath now, his entire body throbbing with numb pleasure.

"I didn't think it was possible to love anyone as much as I love you now," he said. His head was spinning round and round. Why was he so weak? He was sure he would have fallen to the floor immediately, if he hadn't been handcuffed.

"My poor little Draco," Snape said, unlocking the handcuffs. As soon as Draco was free, he fell into Snape's arms – unconscious.

**A/N: Erm, okay, I guess Snape went a bit too far this time... Who would have guessed he liked stuff like that? ;) (I've had lots of trouble describing the scenery in this chapter... finding the right words, that sort of thing. But I hope I haven't made any crucial mistakes...)**


	28. The one you left behind

**A/N: I'm very sorry for the late update! The thing is I've moved to a new town, and I've had lots and lots of problems with my internet connection... I've almost forgotten how wonderful it is to be able to send e-mails without sitting in the crowded school library where you can't write anything personal, or to download movies, or read fan fiction in the middle of the night...**

**Thanks, of course, to the people who reviewed the last chapter!**

_**Chapter XVIII: The one you left behind**_

At first, Draco thought it had all been just a strange, erotic dream. He woke up in his bed, everything was dark around him and all the other boys were asleep – nothing unusual about it at all. There were no traces of blood on his arms, and he was dressed in his pyjama trousers and nothing else – which was how he liked it, even during the winter. Outside the window, an owl was hooting. Draco listened to it for a while, thinking about nothing in particular, before shifting his body a little to try and go back to sleep. He realised, at once, that moving even the slightest wasn't a great idea. His body went rigid as the pain shot through him, and his eyes widened. Then, he blushed, relieved that nobody could see his facial expression. Oh god... He supposed that it wasn't a dream, then. He had been there... in Slytherin's ancient torture chamber... and he had been there with Snape. The wave of memories made him wide awake. The fright he had experienced... the fear, the anxiety... It all made him feel ashamed now. Like a child, he had been terrified by the atmosphere down there, the greatness and power in all those things created only to make people suffer. Like a child, he had wanted to turn back... to run away...

"My god," he whispered into the darkness. The feelings inside him were completely out of control, they took over his body. Most of all, he wanted to go to Snape, go to him immediately and beg him to do it again. But the truth was that Draco didn't even know where Snape's private rooms were. Draco sighed happily, embracing one of his pillows in lack of anything else. How could he ever face Snape again without dying out of happiness? Happiness... and expectation... There was no one at Hogwarts who was luckier than him, there just couldn't be. Draco liked it that way. Shivers ran throughout his entire body, as he thought of the moment when he would see his lover again. Finally, he went back to sleep – this time, clutching the pillow so hard that the only Portrait Lady in the room who was still awake, smiled softly and began to mumble to herself about cute little boys.

Draco wondered whether he would ever be able to think straight again. He was in the Great Hall, having breakfast as usual, for the first time in many days without being harassed by anyone. Still, the situation was downright painful. Pansy smiled at him every now and then and tried to act as if nothing had happened, and he was very grateful for this. Blaise, on the other hand... Draco regretted that he had told Dumbledore not to modify Blaise's memory, but it was too late now. The quiet, raven-haired boy tried to catch Draco's eye as often as possible, and when he succeeded, Draco quickly turned away, unable to stand the sadness in Blaise's eyes. He had hurt Blaise so much...

"Draco, how... how are you?" Pansy looked at him intently, her 1920's makeup as elegant as always.

"What?" he replied stupidly, wondering what kind of strategy she had decided to use to make him tell her what she wanted to know.

"Oh, I just... How are you, in general? I mean... It's been a while since we talked." Around them, people began to stare at them and whisper excitedly. Draco knew that they wanted first-hand information on all the new romances and relationships, this was nothing new. Perhaps Pansy tried to remind people of the fact that she and Draco had once been a couple – just in case someone would stumble upon evidence showing that Draco and Snape... Draco thought, with a smile, that Pansy was quite useful nowadays. A perfect alibi.

"Yeah, I suppose," he said in the drawling voice that was the main reason people loved to impersonate him when they thought he couldn't hear. "What do you want to talk about, Pansy?" Crabbe and Goyle smiled at each other, as if they were saying: "Wow, look, Draco and Pansy are together again! Cool...". If Draco hadn't had so many other things to think about, he would have taken some time to laugh at them. Blaise, however, didn't seem very interested in the "new" romance that had emerged in the small group of Slytherin sixth-years. He got to his feet, and left the table so quickly no one really understood what was happening. Draco wanted to tell him to come back, but Blaise hurried out of the Hall before he could think of anything to say.

"Did you see that," Millicent Bulstrode asked, ignoring the fact that everyone at the Slytherin table was still staring at Blaise's empty seat, "Blaise must be... in love with Pansy or something..." Pansy gave her a look of contempt, abandoning her breakfast to rush after Blaise.

"Your girlfriend, Draco... she went after him..." Millicent said, as if this was another thing no one else had noticed. Draco didn't bother to answer her. Instead, he looked up at the Teacher's Table – and felt his heart take a leap. Snape was there, he had just entered the Hall – Draco felt as if someone had hit the back of his head with a sledgehammer. He couldn't think, couldn't _breathe_... it was incredible. What exactly had Snape... done to him? Well, he remembered _that _clearly enough, how could he possibly forget? But these feelings were absolutely insane! If this was what love felt like, then what could you call the feelings that had rushed through his body after their first kiss? He knew he had been in love then as well, there was no doubt... but it wasn't until now, that he had truly learnt how to love and to be loved. If only Snape knew what he had done to him...

But if Draco had hoped Snape would sit by the Teacher's Table blowing kisses at him, he was fortunately wrong. Snape was as discreet as ever, and disappeared, of course, before Draco had left the Slytherin table. Perhaps it was for the best. There was someone Draco needed to talk to before he did anything else.

He found Blaise and Pansy in his and Blaise's dormitory. They were both huddled up on Blaise's bed – and it wasn't hard to see who needed comfort, and who was comforting. As soon as he entered the room, Pansy left Blaise and went up to Draco.

"I'm leaving," she whispered. "Good luck!"

Draco went towards the bed. Blaise sobbed and refused to look at him.

"I'm so sorry, Blaise," Draco said, as he sat down beside the other boy. "I didn't wish for it to be like this... but I just can't help it." Blaise looked at him.

"You met him tonight... didn't you?" Draco blushed and nodded.

"I saw him bringing you here," Blaise mumbled, "I saw him put you in your bed... He must love you so much, Draco."

"I love him," Draco said. "Oh, Blaise, if I only could... I don't want you to be unhappy because of me." Blaise smiled sadly.

"I won't be unhappy much longer, Draco," he said. "I'll ask Professor Snape to make me a passion-killing potion... He'll probably be happy to do it, when he hears who I'm... in love with." Draco felt horrible.

"If everything had been different..." Blaise laughed, but it was the saddest laughter Draco had ever heard.

"You can't think like that, Draco. This is the way it is. I'll... forget you. Then we can be friends – just friends." Draco pulled him close and hugged him. He heard that Blaise was crying.

"You're my best friend," he whispered, knowing in his heart that it was true. "Blaise, you're the best friend I've ever had..." Blaise wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.

"We'll be late," he mumbled, getting to his feet. Draco gave him a questioning look.

"For what?" Blaise smiled.

"Potions. Double Potions."

**A/N: Just one chapter to go now...**


	29. More than a boy

**A/N: Here's the last chapter... it's really short, sorry about that. But I think it's sweet anyway... **

_**Chapter XIX: More than a boy**_

During his entire time at Hogwarts, Draco had never made as many mistakes in one class as he did in this one. He couldn't remember the names of any of the plants Snape asked about, in fact, he could hardly remember the names of his classmates. As usual, the lesson ended with Snape giving the proper antidotes to those of the students who had been forced to drink badly made potions – and Draco made sure he was the last one of them. As soon as the last of the other students had left, Snape cast a silent spell that shut the door and locked it. He smiled at Draco – but it was a different smile from what Draco was used to, a smile asking: "I hope you're feeling better now?". Snape cared for him, was worried about him. That was, however, hard to believe as soon as he began to speak. His voice was as nonchalant as ever.

"So, Draco, you've... regained your strength?" Snape moved closer, kissing him firmly on the lips. Draco wondered what Snape would think if he fainted again – just because of an innocent kiss.

"Oh, Professor... I have... I haven't been able to think at all today..." Snape smiled, caressing his hair.

"If you only knew how cute you get when you're excited..." Draco leant towards his chest, and Snape put his black cloak around them both.

"Do you still want to... I mean, if you want it, then..." He fell silent as he saw the amused glimpse in Snape's dark eyes.

"Draco... you _fainted_," the Potions Master said in a sarcastic voice. Draco couldn't help but blush.

"Yes, Professor, I know... But that was just because I was so... I was so..." He hesitated. Realised that he was an idiot.

"I was so scared," he muttered. Snape raised his eyebrows. Then, he laughed softly, stroking Draco's cheek.

"I wish the first-years could hear you say that," he smiled. "They're scared to death because of you, you know." Draco smiled back.

"Not as much as they're death scared because of you."

"Yes, well," Snape said, "that's just as it should be..." They kissed for several minutes, without going any further.

"Do you think we can keep it a secret this time?" Draco asked, thinking to himself that if they went on like this – if _he _went on like this, blushing as soon as he saw Snape – people would know before the week was over.

"Otherwise we'll just have to flee the country," Snape said. Draco's heart took a leap.

"Do you mean that you would sacrifice everything... your life at Hogwarts... for me?" Tears of happiness began dimming his gaze. "But I'm... I'm just a boy!" Snape pulled him closer.

"No," he said, "you're not just a boy. You're Draco Malfoy and I love you. Understood?"

Draco nodded, unable to utter a single word. Snape touched his hand lightly.

"And I want to be with you forever... but it won't be easy, Draco."

"Professor Snape..." Draco whispered, "could we... could we return to the torture chamber sometime?" Snape looked at him, clearly surprised.

"Of course... Why?" Draco blushed. Then, he leant forward and whispered something in Snape's ear. Snape's black eyes sparkled, as he said:

"Your wish is my command, Draco... Well, I suppose I'll have to send Professor McGonagall a note explaining that you're sadly too unwell to attend her Transfiguration class today..."

"Yes," Draco said, his eyes sparkling. "and perhaps I won't make it to Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts either..." They smiled at each other, and Draco kissed the man he knew would always be his only master. All of a sudden, he had forgotten everything that had ever worried him, and he wasn't afraid anymore.

The feeling was truly amazing.

THE END

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I'm so glad you did! **


End file.
